What I really Mean To Say
by H.B.Rooke
Summary: This is my story of when Jane and Maura 1st met (the Season3 flashback I discount because Stanley left the mailroom for the cafe in 'SailorMan"S2E3 - so it must be a fictional story Jane "remembers" to her mother) - This follows the 2 through the Pilot Epi - Rizzles develop in spite of Hoyt and the FBI. Sorry for the delay, but here is the next chapter
1. What I really Mean to Say

Jane wished she had felt something for the dark Irish detective that she had just expelled from her apartment, but like so many before him, nada.

So it seemed with all the guys she had had in her life. She conveniently blamed it in being a cop, that the guys either were too put off by it or way too turned on, but her lousy track record extended as far back as she could remember. A part of her could almost acknowledge that she had chosen her career path because of the excuses it would give her.

But Jane only touched on those thoughts briefly and in the privacy if her own mind. She had long ago given up the ghost on finding someone who would sweep her off her feet. At this point she would settle for some one who she could just be herself around. After Hoyt she felt on the defensive around everybody, and lord help the man who wanted to know more about her scars. Jane pulled the covers over her head and reflexively rubbed the pink tokens of her last encounter with Hoyt. They were physical manifestation of the damaged person she was inside and a constant reminder that anything she touched would come into contact with that part of her life. Another reason why Jane should just keep her hands to herself.

As she often did when emotional things got too loud in her head, Jane dressed for a jog. She wondered if she would ever meet someone around whom she could let her guard down. Her mind flitted over all of her past relationships, searching for one with possibilities…her doubt was reinforced.

She gave brief pause to an encounter she had had when she was a rookie, but quickly dismissed it. Her sergeant had been a wonderfully remarkable woman who Jane had admired tremendously. When she made lieutenant, their patrol squad had taken the Serge and her girlfriend out drinking. The two women we so easy around each other, no power struggles, no jealousy, just relaxed. There was a moment, buzzed on some really good micro brew, that Jane had imagined herself like that, maybe with Sergeant Morris. But Jane had discounted her impulse almost immediately, knowing as she did, that that was not a road she was willing to go down. Good Catholics didn't do that. Not that Jane was a good catholic. More a recovering one, but even still she had to think about her folks, and her brothers. There was no way she could be with anyone her family didn't accept as one of their own, so Jane just kept looking.

Jane's feet pounded the pavement and she listened to the sound if her own breath in her head. This was when she was most at peace. After the shock of the first two miles had worn off and she cruised along alone with her thoughts. She almost laughed at the absurdity of it, the idea that she was at her best when by herself. Jane turned up the steam and abandoned any thoughts of her love life. At least she had her work.

Jane strolled into the squad room about an hour before her tour started. As was the case on many days, when she found she had uncommitted time, she preferred working to trying to fill it with frivolous nonsense.

"Hey Janie." Korsak called from his desk as he retuned the receiver to the cradle. "Glad you're here. Crowe and Blakely are out at a floater and we just go a call for a double shooting outside the University. Since you're here, let's take it."

"What about Frost?" Jane asked in deference to her new partner. She had requested the change, but she had long ago regretted the idea. The new guy was smart but green and although she resented Korsak for having "saved" her and seen her at her most vulnerable, she liked the way he worked and the way he thought. He was also a serial divorcée so they were kindred spirits of sorts.

"He's on his way in, but he can meet us there."

"let's bounce." Jane grabbed a fresh pad and gloves from her desk and followed Korsak to the elevator. "Ten bucks says Barry chucks his lunch within 5 minutes."

"Give the kid some credit." Korsak chuckled. "I give him at least 15."

Jane stood in the doorway of the bedroom and surveyed the scene. Two bodies lay face up on the floor, one by the dresser and the other in front of the window. Both fully clothed and unharmed except for the large bullet wound in their chests.

"One round, center mass." Korsak stated from his vantage point just inside the room. The two detectives went back and forth. Stating the obvious but doing so as a way to tally the facts and stay on the same page.

"44 magnum or 45 at close range." Jane returned. She was about to comment further on the wounds when a woman in stunning heels and an expensive trench coat stepped past her into the room.

"Can't make that assumption quite yet detective. But once I've conducted my exam and concluded the tests, I will let you know.

Jane was about to snatch this woman out of her crime scene when the doctor turned and offered her hand. "Dr. Maura Isles. The governor has appointed me to fill the position of Chief Medical Examiner. I know it is uncustomary for the Chief to be directly involved in every case, but I am not one to stand on custom."

Jane was immediately taken aback by the woman who now stood before her. She radiated confidence and success but had not a hint of arrogance. Jane shook the doctor's proffered hand as she mumbled her own name in return. The doctor's grasp was firm yet delicate and her hand was unbelievably soft. Jane felt a bolt of electricity strike her as she met the woman's gaze. Her hazel eyes were soft yet intelligent and they held a promise of undisclosed knowledge that captivated Jane. Jane knew instantly that she wanted to be friends with the new ME, if not for professional reasons, to find out what that secret was she kept just behind her eyes.

The doctor then turned to Korsak and showed the same winning smile, which was met with a half excited, half embarrassed one from Korsak.

Jane watched as Doctor Isles slipped gloves out of a gorgeous and probably outrageously expensive leather case and then proceed to circumnavigate the bodies. Jane was in awe of how this woman could negotiate the scene in heels as delicate as the ones she was wearing. But Jane's appreciation did not end there. The Doctor was stunning, possessed of a woman's grace but an almost childlike curiosity. Jane watched as the doctor observed, considered, and evaluated the information from the scene. The detective wanted to be upset by this woman's abrupt interference with her investigation but she could not help but enjoy it. She appreciated the doctor's approach, being quite in line with the way she and Korsak did things.

Jane turned and looked at Korsak, who was apparently thinking the same thing, but in a more lascivious manner.

"Korsak!" Jane hissed almost silently. He looked up and gave a guilty shrug.

"Wow!" He mouthed, which drew from Jane her classic incredulous look; had they not been right behind the doctor and within earshot, she would have accompanied it with her stock inquiry, "Really?"

Korsak shrugged at Jane and turned his attention back to the woman in the center if of the room. "So Doc, what can you tell us?"

Jane huffed and redirected her attention as well. Instead of seeing the crime scene though, the only thing that her eyes would focus on was the ME. Being in the company of strong, accomplished women always made Jane feel a little better about herself. Contrary to the hackneyed notions of caddy interactions and bitchy competitiveness among female coworkers, Jane found powerful women reassuring. They were a welcome alternative to the meek or helpless victims she usually saw, or those just interested in bedding and wedding a man. Jane felt a kinship with those, who like herself, were confident enough to do their jobs well without worrying what toll it would take on their sex life.

"It appears to be a gunshot wound, though I am not prepared to say what caliber." the ME continued to report her findings to the detectives and Jane looked on in awe. It wasn't until the doctor turned to face her that Jane realized that she had been gawking.

"Is everything okay detective?" The doctor asked in a bemused tone.

"It's all good Doc." Jane laughed to herself, wondering what the other woman must possibly be thinking. No matter, Jane was going to show her that she was dealing with one helluva good detective, and maybe at some point, they could become friends.

The following day Jane sat at her desk pouring over the photos from the crime scene. Korsak was fetching the ballistics data and Frost was hot on the trail of some internet giga geek lead from one of the computers they had seized from the scene. The phone rang and she answered it, her mind still half on the pictures.

"Rizzoli, Homicide."

"Good morning Detective Rizzoli." The caller was calm and casual, as if she were placing a personal call to a friend. Jane's whole being was instantly present, and focused on the voice coming thorough her receiver.

"Doctor Isles," She said, not masking the pleased tone in her voice. "Do you have anything for us?"

"I do, but I think one of you should come down here and see for your self. More expedient and in truth more effective."

Jane did not need to be asked twice. "I'll be right down." She dropped the receiver on the cradle and snatched her coat from the back of her chair. "I'm going down to the Morgue, wanna come Frost?"

"Busy." Was all he said, and though it was probably true for the most part, the reply came too quick for it to be anything short of an excuse.

"Its only dead people Barry," Jane teased as she crossed to the elevators. But she didn't push him because she knew how he was around dead bodies. "I'll bring the report and the labs up when I come back."

Maura hung up the phone and rested her chin on the back of her hand like Rodin's Thinker. She had only just met the tall Italian detective, but there was something about the woman that she found very appealing. Perhaps it was her professional confidence, or the compassion she showed to people. Maura had watched as Detective Rizzoli had notified the daughter of one of the deceased victims. The girl had been at school and her school bus had dropped her off right in front of the crime scene. Detective Rizzoli had been strong and earnest, not condescending or overly fawning. Maura had always found navigating personal interactions awkward so she was impressed by the detective's handling of the situation. Maura judged that she could learn a lot from observing the detective, and found that she was quite pleased that it would be the detective coming down to see what the ME had found.

Maura heard the elevator door open and the cadence of the detective's stride as she walked toward the morgue. The heal strike of the rather course looking boots the detective favored resonated through the halls.

"In here Detective Rizzoli," Maura called, as Jane passed her office door.

Jane stopped mid stride, pivoted and entered the office. "What do you have for us Doctor Isles?"

"Please call me Maura. If we are going to be working as closely I have been informed the ME's office and Homicide do, it will not do to maintain a ridged and formal discourse. It is not conducive to the free exchange of ideas, and serves to impede the kind of inquiry necessary to efficiently address the class of cases faced by our departments. "

Jane knitted her eyebrows together, not quite sure what to make of the doctor. She had noted that the doc had been super clinical at the scene, but Jane had written it off to being "in the zone." here it seemed a little odd.

"Well, then Maura," Jane tried out the sound of the woman's name in her mouth and found she liked it quite well. "You can call me Jane, and do you always talk like that?"

Maura blushed. She knew that her manner of conversing seldom blended well with others, and usually relegated her to the perimeter of professional discourse. This was exactly what she had been trying to avoid.

"In a word, yes." Maura replied in a resigned and somewhat defensive tone, already regretting the opportunity that was passing her by. "I fear that my speech is either overly pedantic or interpreted as such, for that I apologize."

"In a word," Jane good-naturedly mocked the ME. "I don't care."

"That is in fact three words, four if you count the contraction as two..."

"Really?" Jane looked at the doctor with a mixture of amusement and exasperation. "If you want efficiency and a free exchange of ideas, you are going to have to dial it back a notch. I'm not a very literal person"

The ME found the detective's tone comforting, even as she was critiquing Maura's speech. She had so much to learn from Jane, she only hopped she would be able to spend time with her. Maura resolved then and there to personally respond to any case to which Jane had any connection.


	2. Navigation

The following week Jane sat on the couch in in her parent's house as her mother busied herself prepping Sunday dinner. She had been putting in extra hours on the University Case which had been amped up by the media, causing no end of extra work. Cranks and crackpots flooding the tip line was just the icing on the cake to a particularly difficult case. There was tons of forensic evidence but at this point it led absolutely nowhere. She really should be at work now, but if she missed another family dinner, her mother would kill her.

"Ma!" Jane called from the living room. "When are Dad and Tommy going to be here?"

"They had a late call but they should be here by seven." Her mother called back. "In time for Frankie to join us after his shift."

Jane resigned herself to being trapped in the family fray all night. She just hoped Tommy would stay sober tonight and not pick a fight with her or Frankie, she just was not in the mood. Jane was contemplating grabbing a beer herself, when her phone rang.

"Rizzoli."

"Hey Jane, it's Frost, We just caught another one. Gunshot vic at Charlestown Navy Yard. but here is the kicker, the vic's Michael Dougherty, the guy we wanted to talk to regarding the University case."

"Crap! I'll meet you there." Jane hit the end button and levered herself from the couch.

"Ma! I gotta go to work, I'll try to be back in time for supper." Jane knew it wasn't going to be the case, but she didn't want to totally disappoint her mother.

Angela Rizzoli appeared in the doorway, dish towel in hand, face set in a frown.

"Jane, tell them you have dinner with family tonight."

"Ma! I'm not a volunteer. They call. I go, its my job." Jane said as she kissed her mother and headed for the door. Her mother reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Jane, I worry about you. I wanted to talk to you over dinner, but... It is just that you work so much. You don't have a boyfriend, and don't tell me Patrick, Frankie already told me you dumped him, and he was such a nice boy." Jane groaned but her mother continued. "You don't even have any close girlfriends to help you be more feminine and less...well..." Angela waved her hand at her daughter trying to find a way to describe the less than flattering style she seemed to favor.

"Less what? Less me? I'm a cop Ma, not a fashion model, its not exactly easy processing a crime scene in stilettos." Even as she said the words, her mind flashed back to Doctor Isles' effortlessness doing just that. Jane had been thinking a lot about the ME and found herself excited at the prospect that she might see the woman at this new shooting. "Gotta Run."

* * *

><p>As Jane drove to the Navy Yard she contemplated the exchange she had just had with her mother. If her mother only knew that it was possible to look like Maura Isles and respond to crime scenes, Jane would never hear the end of it. She found herself openly smiling at the thought of the ME. The woman was about as close to a runway model as Jane would ever meet and she cut up dead people for a living. Well, not a living, it seemed the good doctor was well established and didn't need the job for that. This of course made the contrast that much starker. She was a smart, idiosyncratic, debutant who cut up dead people for what, fun? Jane made a mental note to ask her about that, at some point.<p>

Jane parked her car outside the perimeter and approached the uniform securing the scene. He was an old timer Jane remembered from her days on patrol.

"Hey Lyndon." She said as she ducked under the tape. "Rizzoli, victor 8-2-5..."

"Yeah Jane I know who you are." The salty officer replied. "Good to see you made something of your career and didn't waste it in the bag like me."

"What are you talking about, you did more to teach us rookies the road than all our time in the Academy. If guys like you weren't out there, this city would be in deep." Jane clapped her hand on the officer's shoulder and lowered her tone conspiratorially. "Besides, as I remember your sister's house was in your sector, you got a home cooked meal at least three times a week. If I had had it that good, I wouldn't have left either." Jane laughed easily and the officer did the same. They exchanged a few more words about his kids before Jane spied Frost and excused herself.

Frost stood with a National Parks Service employee, and introduced Jane to the man who had discovered the body.

"The ME's office here yet?" She asked as she scanned the scene.

"I though I saw the Chief's Mercedes pull up but I haven't seen her yet. I'll finish getting the statement if you want to go in and take a look." Frost indicated the direction by nodding his head off to his right. Jane could see the queasiness in his face, so she continued past him to the body without comment.

* * *

><p>Maura had sat in her car and watched as Jane pulled up to the scene. She walked with a casual confidence that belied the intense and brooding woman within. Over the past week Maura had watched the detective closely and found her to be an intriguing and complex study. Jane was very direct and driven with her work and kept her personal life closed off. Where Detective Korsak would grumble about his exes and alimony or his latest animal rescue, Jane contributed nothing. Detective Frost never missed an opportunity to talk tech or engage in discussions regarding his pastimes like gaming and some Dungeons and Demons act he participated in, yet all Maura had learned about Jane was that she liked the Red Sox, but who in Boston didn't.<p>

Maura knew what had happened to Jane last year. It had been in the news, but it was also still the topic of office gossip. Maura wondered how a person could go through an ordeal like that and still come out as together as Jane seemed. Maura watched as Jane approached the crime scene tape. She exchanged words with the Uniform at the entrance, but instead of continuing past, she stopped and patted the man's shoulder and leaned in as if to whisper something to him. Maura could not hear what they were saying but from the officer's body language Jane had paid him a complement of some sort because he immediately relaxed and appeared to stand a little taller. The detective seemed to have that ability with a lot of people, one made that much more effective by the fact that she had no idea she was doing it.

Maura exited her vehicle and herself approached the crime scene. After displaying her credentials she made her way to the location of the body.

"Hey Doc," Jane called warmly. "Glad to see you could join us."

"Why would I not be able to join you?" Maura questioned in earnest.

"I only meant that...oh forget it come over here I want you to see something before you look at the body." Jane took Maura's elbow and led her around to a point on the opposite side of the scene.

Maura would have normally been offended by being led anywhere in a professional setting, but Jane's grasp was neither forceful nor possessive, what is more, it made Maura's skin prickle.

"Look over there," Jane said as she pointed to small down feather partially obscured by a trash can. "I know you don't guess at things, but judging from what you were saying about a suppression instrument being used on the last victims, I thought you should take that into account now." Jane released the doctor's arm and she felt suddenly unsteady, but not altogether in a bad way.

"Thank you Jane," Maura responded. "The evidence will be duly noted."

Jane smiled at the doctor like a student winning a complement from a teacher. Maura returned her smile and held her gaze for an instant longer than necessary, before refocusing on the task at hand. Jane felt her breath hitch in her chest before the vaguest realization crept into the back of her mind. The more she tried to push the idea from her head the more it bullied its way into the forefront of her consciousness. She had been around long enough to not mistake her feelings for admiration, or respect, though she felt that too. No, she liked this woman, she really liked this woman. And as thrilling as it was to feel this excited about someone, this was not the time, or the place, or the person for that matter. Focus Rizzoli, focus.

Maura looked up and met Jane's gaze again. "Did you say something Detective?"

Oh Jesus!

"Just telling myself to focus, thats all." Jane mumbled as she walked off in the opposite direction.


	3. Maura's Gears

Once Maura had made the necessary arrangements for the removal of the body, she retrieved her bag and crossed to the crime scene access point. The patrolman that Jane had conversed with earlier was still there, which prompted Maura to think about how Jane's interaction with him had informed the tenor of the day's labors. He had seemed quite helpful and almost eager to please, which in her short tenure as Chief, Maura had learned was an aberration. Maura made a mental note and glanced a his name plate.

"Good evening Officer Lyndon." Maura smile pleasantly. "Thank you for all your assistance today. I just wanted to let you know that my team will be removing the body shortly, if you needed to inform your supervisor."

Officer Lyndon perked up at the attention paid to him by the Chief Medical Examiner.

"Thanks for the heads up Doc. I'll let him know."

The doctor knit her brows at the officers words; she was so unaccustomed to conversing in colloquialisms. It was one of the unforeseen consequences of having a foreign boarding school education. Maura excused herself and continued towards her car, forgetting to ask Officer Lyndon how long ago Detective Rizzoli and her partner had left. Unfortunately, before she could go back to him, she was interrupted by the chatter of camera shutters and the inquisitive questions of the half a dozen reporters camped out by the outer perimeter.

As she steeled herself to face the fray, one face in particular stood out. The blonde TV reporter held back, just behind the baying hounds, tall and erect, and confident that she would be the first to secure an interview, if the was going to be one. She was dressed very fashionably, and although the network made sure all their personalities looked in vogue, she wore her clothes with a confidence that only came with comfort and belonging, and Kitty Vansen owned her look.

Maura's gaze caught hers and the two women imperceptibly acknowledged each other before Maura stepped up to speak.

"I will have a full statement later on when I have been able to review the evidence and prepare a report. Until that time I have nothing of interest to add."

The disappointed reporters skulked back, their attention now focused on the body that was being readied for removal. Kitty patiently waited until Maura approached.

"Good evening Dr. Isles." The reporter said in a professional tone.

"Kitty." Maura returned, as Kitty dismissed her camera man by way of instruction to capture the body removal.

"I guess this means dinner is canceled?" Kitty inquired when her camera man was out of earshot.

"It looks that way. And I imagine once my work is complete, you won't be free to come to my place for a late supper either?" Maura asked, knowing the answer.

"I don't know, could you give me a hint?" The question was probative.

"I can't do that Kitty." Maura said in a half mocking half scolding tone. "It won't do for you to trade on our acquaintanceship like that."

"On that note doctor, what exactly is our acquaintanceship?" Kitty's voice had dropped and her tone softened, although her body language stayed as precise and ridged as if she were conducting an interview "Are we school chums, professional colleagues, friends, or lov..."

"Kitty." Maura cut her off in a warning tone. They had indeed been school chums, and were colleagues, but it had only been since Maura's return to Boston that they had moved past that.

"Well you can't blame a girl for trying." Kitty held her hands up in mock surrender. "I'll talk to you later."

As Maura returned to her car, she thought about the events that had brought her to this place. She had attended a fundraiser for Professionals for Underprivileged Kids of Excellence shortly after she moved back to Boston. One of the number of old faces she saw was that of Kitty Vansen. They had attended university together. Though Maura was a few years ahead of the younger woman, they had been involved in similar committees and functions, and even had a few classes together. Their parents even belonged to the same country club, and knew many of the same people. In school, there had been an undercurrent of sexual tension that neither was prepared to address, but in the intervening years, each had evolved into a confident, self aware woman, who was not shy about articulating what she wanted. They had gone out to dinner the following week on the thinly veiled pretext of catching up and ended up back at Maura's for drinks.

Maura slipped into her Mercedes SL500 and engaged the ignition. The car hummed to life and she could feel the power vibrating beneath her feet. Instead of pulling away, she leaned back and closed her eyes. She had not thought about how complicated her life would get when she and Kitty had embarked on their fling. Maura had surmised that their attraction would fizzle out, as it did in most of her relationships, and that the two would go their separate ways before she ever took the helm of the Medical Examiner's Office. Now, a little over a week into her job, and she was holding news briefings for the press, a member of which she happened to be sleeping with.

Maura chided herself for letting this situation progress this far. Kitty was a phenomenal woman, and they were similar in so many ways. There had been a thrill associated with revisiting their unresolved feelings, and the physical aspect of their pairing had been more than gratifying. As a complete concept though, Maura could not say with certainty that a relationship with Kitty was worth the complexities it brought into her professional life.

Fortunately, they had always kept the nature of their relationship quiet and if ever a question came up, it was easily explained away by their shared colligate history and social circles. But it became more complicated each day and Maura had to negotiate the situation with grace and savvy if it was going to be satisfactorily resolved. It was times like these that Maura felt the void of confidante or a best friend.

Maura slammed the gears into drive and accelerated out of the parking spot. She had work to do and no time to waste pondering this anymore.


	4. Walking Lessons

Jane felt the hum of energy resonate just under her skin. She knew they were close to breaking the case because she could feel it, it was only a matter of putting together all the pieces. She paced around the squad room, trying to order the information in her head in a way that would make it make sense. Frost kept looking up from his desk, apparently irritated by the frenetic nature of Jane's movement.

"Would you stop that already?" He finally snapped. "You are making me freaking nervous."

"It's there Frost, I know I just can't figure it out." Jane explained, shaking out her hands and stretching her neck.

"Well can you do that somewhere else?"

Jane huffed but obliged; grabbing her jacket she headed for the elevators. Maybe she would go grab a coffee or something, or go harass the photo unit to rush the prints from the scene.

Jane exited the elevator in the lobby and was still undecided about her course of action when she saw the Medical Examiner crossing to the elevators to the morgue.

"Doc! Hey! Hold up." Jane called as the ME stepped onto the elevator.

Maura held the doors and waited for the detective to bound across the lobby.

"Thanks." Jane said as the doors slip closed behind her. "I was just coming down to see you."

Maura cocked her head to the side slightly, looked up and inquired, "For what reason?"

"Ah, just to see whatcha got from the scene, if you have anything else on the suppressor idea...junk like that." Jane bounced on the balls of her feet unable to keep still as they descended into the morgue. Her hair, which Maura noted had been pulled back in a pony tail at the scene, now cascaded over her shoulders in an unruly but not unattractive way. Her body was alive with energy and drew a stark contrast to the composed, manicured, and comparatively inert doctor standing next to her.

"Junk, I don't know about. Suppressors I do have additional data on, and I have not examined everything from the crime scene yet, so you will have to wait on that." Maura replied as she exited the elevator. Jane watched as the doctor walked down the hall, again amazed at her ability to be so agile and mobile on such delicate footwear. Maura seemed to step in a confidant and powerful cadence that Jane imagined could be accompanied by theme music and a title sequence for a movie about a bad ass ME in stilettos. For all her formality and awkward verbal communication skills, Doctor Maura Isles had a PhD in body language. Jane realized she was staring when the door started to close on her. She scooted out and pursued the doctor down the hall.

"How do you do that?" Jane asked before she realized she was speaking out loud?

"Do what?" The doctor inquired.

"Walk in those shoes. I look like a drag queen in high heels. I am always afraid that I am going to role my ankle or something. And so I'm either half stepping like a wind up doll or so shaky that I look like a foal right out of a mare." Jane demonstrated each stride in a way that made Maura chuckle.

"You are very animated Jane, but no doubt your deficiency comes from a lack of confidence coupled with a paucity of experience? When was the last time you wore heels?"

"At my uncle Alonzo's funeral three years ago." Jane stated without having to give it much thought.

"Case in point." Maura found herself enjoying the flow of the conversation. It was not about work, or a committee, or anything necessary, it was a casual exchange between friends. "Here try these on and show me how you walk."

Maura grabbed Jane's arm for support as she reached down to slide her shoe off. Jane felt instantly off balance by the whole scene. She didn't know if it was the woman's touch, or the faint smell of her perfume, or the fact that she was treated to a clear view of Maura's cleavage, but in total it caused Jane to shutter slightly and have to concentrate on grounding herself.

"Um. I don't think my feet will fit in those." Jane said apprehensively.

"Your feet can't be that much bigger," Maura said assessing the detective's boots. "And there is a little give in these anyway. Just try."

Jane wanted to find another excuse or say no, but the look on the doctor's face was so innocently excited that Jane could not help but relent. Besides, wasn't her mother complaining that she didn't have girlfriends. She could assuage her mother's anger from having missed Sunday dinner by telling her that she had tried on high heels and practiced being girly while waiting for lab results.

"Oh, ok." She grumbled, and haphazardly unzipped and tossed off her own shoes.

"Socks too." Maura encouraged, as Jane stood looking purposefully pathetic. "And if I recall, you brought up the topic so do not grumble at me." Maura looked directly at Jane as she spoke, capturing Jane's gaze and holding it for a long moment.

_Oh__Boy_. Jane looked away as her face flushed and she stripped off her socks. She kept her face down as she took each shoe from Maura's hand and put it on, using the desk to steady herself. They were tight, but her foot basically fit.

"My toes are cramped," Jane complained, and Maura ignored her.

Maura tapped the small of Jane's back. "Now stand up straight and look directly in front of you." Jane obliged.

"Remember, lead from here," Maura pressed the palm of her hand on Jane's abdomen with her thumb on the sternum. Jane faltered but it had nothing to do with the heels.

"Careful." Maura cautioned as Jane proceeded to demonstrate her lack of skills. Jane couldn't believe what she was doing, come to think of it what was she doing? In the middle of the biggest case this month she was taking walking lessons in the Morgue. Jane took a few more awkward steps and turned to face the ME.

"Voila!" Jane said with a flourish of her hands. Maura was smiling a broad, easy smile signaling an acceptance of Jane's assertion, as well as her own.

"Practice and confidence, that is all you need." Maura said beckoning Jane back across the room. "You have an exquisite figure, I imagine you would look quite stunning dressed up. Ooo, I saw a lovely Dior that would go so well with your skin tone, or that Marc Jacobs with the burgundy accents." Maura's eyes glassed over slightly and Jane felt disconcerted by the way the ME was imagining dressing her like a doll. Or maybe it was that Jane imagining being undressed by the ME.

"Thanks for the advice, I like my clothes just fine thank you." Jane handed the shoes back to Maura and refitted her own on her feet.

"You are no fun," Maura teased. She felt relaxed and at ease in a way that she only usually felt when she was by herself, but wasn't life is much better enjoyed in pairs.

As she watched the detective put on her socks and boots, Maura wondered what it was about Jane that made her feel so comfortable. Maura had had many friends and acquaintances, but no one who she felt she could be relaxed around. Most of Maura's life had been spent in the company of the social elite, and Maura supposed that between trying to impress her parents and be the perfect student she had lost out on this type of thing. What is more, there had been few people like Jane Rizzoli in her life. Most were rigid, uptight professionals who were in constant competition with one and other. Maura found herself glowing inside at the current situation of her life. She had had to carefully debate giving up research science and taking this position, but now she knew unequivocally that it had been the right thing to do.

Jane righted herself and felt instantly better, clad in her own footwear.

"Enough of that, what can you tell me about the case."

"The case, ah yes." Maura turned to her desk and opened her bag. "Let's get right to that."


	5. Kitty

Totally necessary scene warning...it furthers the plot but no Rizzles

Jane's phone rang and she cut Maura off in mid sentence to answer. It always disconcerted her when people did that, but she found in this situation it did not bother her at all. She watched the concerned lines on Jane's face as she listened intently to the information Frost was giving her. Jane was a truly dedicated officer. She held fast to the ideals of justice and integrity, qualities that Maura too had respect for. Jane always put her responsibility to the people of the City of Boston, before herself. So Maura watched and waited.

Jane hung up the phone and looked up at Maura with fiery excitement, the chaotic energy suddenly focussed with precision.

"That was Frost, he's pulled something from the vic's home network. I have to run. Thanks for the info..." Jane was already out of the office. "And the walking lessons." She had to cast her final thanks over her shoulder. Maura watched the retreating detective with wonder. She imagined that Jane would have a hard time maintaining strong connections with people outside of work, and that her personal life probably suffered quite a bit at the hand of her professional drive. Unlike most of the people in Maura's circle however, Jane's drive did not revolve around recognition or reward, it came from some place else, deeper, and Maura resolved to find out where. But not right now, she had work, herself to do.

The following morning Maura was finishing up yoga as her door bell rang. She crossed to the entryway wondering who could be calling at this hour. She opened the door to find Kitty, obviously exhausted from the previous night's labors, holding a tray of coffee and scones in front of her.

"I thought since we had to cancel dinner, that we might still be able to get breakfast in." Kitty smiled.

Maura stepped back to let the other woman pass, pressing the briefest kiss on her lips as she did.

"You look like you were up all night." Maura observed, following the reporter into the kitchen.

"Wouldn't have had to be if you had given me a little advanced notice that the dead guy was Michael Dougherty." Kitty deposited the refreshments on the counter as Maura retrieved plates for their repast.

"It wasn't confirmed, and besides, it is not my call when to release that information, it is Detective Rizzoli's case, so it is her decision when and how to do that." Maura pressed her hand to Kitty's lower back to balance herself, as she set down the plates. Kitty turned and pulled Maura into her arms.

"You would think there would be some perks to dating the Chief Medical Examiner."

Maura grew rigid and narrowed her gaze.

"I'm only kidding Maura, you are so literal." Kitty tried to lighten the mood, but the damage was already done. Maura might not be well versed in colloquial cant, but she knew quite a lot about psychosocial behavior, and the idea that there was truth in jest was not lost on her. She did, however, want to give Kitty the benefit of the doubt.

"You might have a point, if we ever went out on a date. But as I recall it was your wish to keep our relationship quiet."

"Discreet," Kitty corrected.

"Semantics...If no one knows because we don't tell, it is a secret. I do not do well with secrets and you know I can not lie. So this thing between us can not be anything more than a tete a tete, until you are willing to be honest about it." Maura leaned back but did not break free from Kitty's embrace. "Are you?" Maura questioned.

"Maura, we have gone over this ad nauseum. I am right at the point in my career where I am about to make some serious headway. The weekend anchor position will be opening up in six months, and I am perfectly positioned to step right in. I can't risk the network finding me less attractive because of who I am dating." Kitty huffed.

"Oh, I don't know, I think we make quite an attractive couple." Maura teased. They had been over this ground before, but a decision had always been deferred. Maura was resolved to clarify their relationship this time.

"I can't deny that," Kitty said leaning down and kissing the doctor. "But you know what I mean."

"What about Randy Price, WCVB doesn't seem to mind that he is openly gay?" Maura inquired.

"It's not just that," Kitty dropped her hands, snatched up her coffee and headed for the couch. "What happens if we do go public? I'm have the City Beat Maura, you can't very well ask me to give that up."

"You know I wouldn't do that." Maura followed Kitty to the sofa, bringing the scones and napkins along with with her.

"No, but you would ask me to avoid even the appearance of impropriety." Kitty said the last words as if they were anathema to her. "I don't want to stand out in the rain waiting for statements from officials my whole career. If that means peeking over fences or cultivating inside sources, then that is what I am going to do."

Maura was growing increasingly discouraged by the tone of the conversation. She had pressed the issue for clarity, but had been hoping for different results.

"I don't have a problem with that. I understand what journalism is. Why would that be a problem."

Kitty looked incredulous.

"Why did you give me the exclusive on the shooting last week?" Kitty asked accusingly, depositing her coffee on the table and leaning into the conversation.

"Because I was finished with my report and ready to deliver it to the press, and you were there."

"Would you have done that if we were publicly involved?"

"No, probably not," Maura considered. "But what does one thing have to do with the other?

"It has everything to do it. I am a reporter, its my life. I can't be with someone who is going to throw up walls and put distance between us anytime it might look unseemly."

Maura not only heard the words, but she also heard all of what was behind them. Kitty had no problem trading on their relationship, and from what the woman had just said, it appeared to Maura that she almost expected it. Kitty wanted a partner in bed who would be amenable to helping to further her career. Maura saw the pretext of wanting an open an unimpeded relationship, for what it was, and very suddenly she soured on the entire concept.

"Well then," Maura said, raising herself up from the couch. "I guess that settles it."

"Maura no." Kitty stood to join her. "I don't want this to end. It took too long to get it started." Kitty's tone warmed as she closed the distance between them and took Maura's hands.

"We are at an impasse; we have different ideas and ideals, and though we seem to be very compatible in other respects, it is just not enough to sustain a relationship."

The two stood looking at each other for a long moment, futilely tallying up the facts to see if they could come to a different result. In the end Maura gently kissed Kitty before taking her hand and leading her to the door. Maura was a little sad that their relationship was drawing to a close, but the signs were there and it would do no good to keep ignoring them.

Kitty followed the doctor to the entryway. She knew that this moment was going to come at some point, but had been hoping to put it off as long as possible. For all her bravado, Kitty had always lacked a place where she felt safe and protected, that was until she reconnected with Maura. Maura was an amazing woman, and Kitty would miss her.

"Still friends?" Kitty asked with a bit of trepidation.

"Yes, still friends." Maura smiled and embraced the reporter for the last time. "Now go home and get some sleep."


	6. Edison and Jobs

This is more a half chapter, but a taste of what is to come.

* * *

><p>Jane sat on Frost's desk congratulating him for his part in breaking the case. His genius with the computers had yielded the final piece that they needed to focus their efforts on one suspect in particular. It had taken a week of hard surveillance, a late night warrant call to Judge Fitzpatrick, and a gun battle with the suspect, but they got their man and closed the case.<p>

Exhausted from their efforts and the preliminary Department inquiry, the three detectives dithered in the bullpen. Frost's girlfriend of over a year had called it quits after the fifth night he spent on the stakeout, and he was feeling the emptiness. It was Friday and none of them had anyone to rush home to. They would have gone to celebrate at the Robber, but some Deputy Superintendent was having his retirement party there.

"So the Robber is off limits tonight, we'll go some place else. What about The Jolly Rodger, that's a cop friendly place?"

"_No_." Frost emphasized his disapproval. "Rhonda's brother is a Muni, he hangs there."

"What about The Drink?" Korsak suggested. "It's a bit far but it's a decent joint."

"Then who is driving?" Jane asked, there by ruling the option out.

Didn't The Thirsty Scholar just get its cabaret license? Maybe we should take him there." Korsak stared hard at Jane who still looked less than enthusiastic with the prospect of hosting a cheerfest.

"Isn't that a Parkies hangout?" Jane asked, by way of offering up an excuse.

"All the more reason to go. They tried so hard to block the Dougherty investigation, trying to claim primary jurisdiction. l would think you would like the opportunity to gloat."

"I don't gloat, Vince." Jane stated unequivocally.

"Gloat about what?" The question floated through the air and penetrated the detectives' huddle, but to no ones disappointment.

"Hey Doc." They said in attempted unison. Korsak puffed his chest out while Frost sat up straighter in his chair. Jane just smiled and watched the elegant doctor cross over to where they were congregated.

"No gloating here, Doc." Jane responded.

"Jane and I were just trying to decide on a place to celebrate and take Barry here to drown his sorrows. He is just learning the hardest part about being in Homicide...Its murder on your personal life." Both Jane and Korsak laughed at the old joke.

"Don't you usually frequent the Dirty Robber?" Maura inquired.

"Deputy Superintendent Conway retired, the place is his for the night, so we have to find

a replacement." Korsak continued.

"And Vince suggested a bar where the Parkies...er..I mean the NPS Rangers and other Parks Police hang out. There was a little jurisdictional squabble over Dougherty and we won...Korsak was suggesting we go there." Jane gave Korsak a little shove to emphasize her disapproval.

"Its a cop bar and its close, so what? Besides maybe that cute seasonal who was making goo-goo eyes at Barry will be there" Vince defended his choice.

Frost looked up sharply, opening his to protest. In the same instant he clamped it shut again. He was about to remind them he had a girlfriend, only to remember he did not.

Registering Frost's silence as approval Korsak turned his attention to Jane. He raised his eyebrows and gave her the hard stare. It took only thirty seconds.

"What? Fine I'll go, but this is the last time." Jane stood up and crossed to her desk. "If you're this tore up about a girl, and you stick around in Homicide long enough, there won't be enough beer in Boston fix you. Buck up, this is just the beginning."

"So I guess we're out then," Korsak stated. "You comin' Doc? Or do you have a hot date planned?"

Maura contemplated the offer. She had actually come up on her way out, looking to delay going home. She did not customarily fraternize with police officers outside of work, but It had been a long week for her too. Ending things with Kitty had seemed easy but processing the break up while having to deal with her professionally took a lot of strength. Tonight she just wanted to relax, and she found the company of her new colleagues conducive to that.

"Thank you for the invitation Vince. My social calendar is free and clear. I accept." Maura smiled.

* * *

><p>The group walked down the block toward the bar. Vince needled Jane about dumping him for Frost, while Maura looped her arm through Barry's and attempted to console him about his recent break up. When the arrived at their destination they paused outside for a brief moment, contemplating the prudence of entering possible hostile territory. From the outside it looked like any other cop bar in Boston except when the door opened they heard music thumping from within.<p>

"Come on." Urged Korsak. "How bad could it be, the music is actually from this century, and it looks harmless enough."

"I just don't want any problems Korsak, this seems a bit like we are tempting fate." Jane whined.

"Now, really, what is the big deal?" Maura inquired. "Three big tough detectives, afraid of their own?" Maura turned on her very elegant heels and walked to the door. The patron who had stepped out for a cigarette quickly rushed to open the door for her. Maura turned and looked at the group with a pert and satisfied look on her face, as if to say "See, I told you so." Then disappeared through the door.

"Brilliant Edison, now we _have_ to go in." Jane shoved Korsak in the shoulder, as Frost laughed.

"I don't know what you are laughing at Steve Jobs, its your fault we are here in the first place." Jane pushed both men forward towards the door to the bar.

"Step to it, before the Doc gets lost." Jane was not in a party mood, but the prospect of a cold beer just yards away and the company of the Medical Examiner was having a beneficial effect.


	7. Showdown

Jane pushed Korsak and Frost across the threshold, and the three cautiously approached the bar. Instinctually, the detectives scanned their surroundings, assessing threat potential, surveying for access and egress, and taking mental stock of the clientele in the establishment.

"Get a load of us. Doing the once over on a cop bar." Chuckled Korsak. "We really should get out more."

"Anyone ever tell you you'd make a good detective?" Jane retorted in an elevated tone to be heard over the music.

"Once." Vince responded getting the attention of the barkeep.

The bar was busy, with most of the real estate occupied by male patrons, two deep. There were booths along the opposite wall, most of which were filled as well. In the back, tables had been pushed to the side to allow for a makeshift dance floor. Middle aged men danced self-consciously with twenty-somethings that Jane took for NPS seasonal employees.

"Get a load of the badge bunnies." Jane pointed to the average looking young women who were basking in the attention of the men on the dance floor.

"That's what we are here for, eh." Korsak elbowed Frost. "Is she here?"

Jane spied the young docent, sitting at the other end of the bar politely listening to two men regale her with a story they obviously found me entertaining than she did.

"Now's your chance." Korsak pushed Frost towards her with a last piece of sage advice. "Buy her a drink."

Jane spotted Maura talking with the employee who was apparently tending the sound system. Jane groaned inwardly, hoping she wasn't requesting some 17th century minuet. Jane had no idea what kind of music the doctor listened to, but figured it had to be stuffy, intellectual and impossible to dance to.

Jane watched as Maura headed towards their position at the bar. The doctor was dressed in her usual, highly fashionable, incredibly sexy, haute couture and as such, eclipsed the all girls as she passed. Jane, who was more than used to the knuckle-dragging tendencies of her coworkers, had to stifle a laugh as she observed the scene playing out in front of her. Maura was all woman, confident, sexy, and attractive; she was the cynosure of all eyes. The bad ass ME title sequence was playing in her head again, and Jane really had to get a grip. She was behaving as crudely as the rest, and it just didn't suit.

"What's your poison?" Jane asked when Maura reached them.

"Poison?" Maura inquired.

"Really? Where did you grow up, a island in the South Pacific?" Jane asked incredulously.

"No, right here in Boston, though I did attend boarding school in Europe." Maura stated matter-of-factly, using her index finger to punctuate her statement.

Jane rolled her eyes but pushed the issue no further. "What do you want to drink?

"Kettle One martini please" Maura requested. Korsak ordered the drink and two pints of Sam Adams draft for him and Jane.

The three stood in relative silence, watching Frost awkwardly interact with the docent. Although he was out of practice, she was more than pleased to have Barry's attentions, and made it quite easy on him.

"He'll get over it." Korsak stated with confidence, passing out the drinks as they arrived. "Cheers."

Korsak spotted a familiar face in the crowd. "Ah, look, Ranger Pigeon, I'm going to see how she is." Korsak excused himself and crossed over to her booth. "Anna, Hi."

Jane shook her head as Korsak's motivations came to light.

"I do believe Vince orchestrated this evening to provide a pretext for seeing that woman." Maura observed.

"You think?" Jane would have been more annoyed had she been left solo at the bar, but in Maura's company, Korsak's machinations did not bother her as much. "I should have known. Korsak went all jelly on me when he met her last week. She's an NPS Ranger, and probably has the same time on the job as he does. Good fit too, seeing as rangers usually move around a lot" Jane chuckled. "Korask won't have to worry about relationship permanency."

"Seems to be pandemic in Homicide." Maura observed.

"Did you crack a joke Doc?" Jane arched her brow.

"No, just made an unfortunately accurate observation." Maura's face broke into a broad grin as she sipped her drink and watched Jane do the same. "Barry tells me you recently went through a break up too."

Jane shrugged it off. She didn't talk about her personal life much, and though it irritated her that Frost was blabbing about it behind her back, she felt relieved for the opportunity to flaunt her heterosexuality. With lesbian being almost synonymous with female cop, Jane wanted to set the record straight and assuage any fears the doctor may have. True, Jane had been finding herself staring at Maura, letting her eyes and mind drift inappropriately, but that was all the more reason to trot out the beefcake credibility, to preserve the integrity of the newly budding friendship.

"No biggie really, we had only been seeing each other for a few months, He was a detective in Narcotics. We used to work together, we reconnected, it was good but not great, so good riddance. Not Mrs. Right." Jane raised her glass and drank to Patrick's departure from her life.

Maura regarded the detective as she drank to the end of her most recent relationship and could not help but think about her own. She raised her glass as well. It was for the best, and Maura knew that, but it did not make the prospect of being single any more appealing. The doctor did not need to be in a relationship, and usually felt quite herself when not dating. Being back in Boston however, and trying to reestablish herself, had left her wanting for the comfort of another, even just a friend.

Jane finished her beer and ordered another round, searching the length of the bar for a stool for Maura to sit on.

"So what about you Doc? You have some devastatingly handsome beau who is out of town for the weekend, or are you playing hard to get for a rich bon vivant from Beacon Hill?" Jane found it hard to believe that the Doctor would rather hang out with three blue collar schmos on a Friday night, than rub elbows within her own strata, not that she minded.

"Neither, I am single, don't care much for bon vivants. I am, however, enjoying fostering a positive relationship with my new colleagues." Maura answered, as if she had read Jane's mind. "I don't know if you have noticed, but I seem to have to work a little harder at that than most." Maura's self deprecating manor struck Jane as odd, given the confidant persona the ME was so good at waving around.

Jane knit her brow and looked hard at the doctor. "You are doing just fine Maura." Jane's tone was soft and earnest and it moved Maura from within. Maura looked into Jane's rich brown eyes and saw the genuine compassion the detective had for the world. Jane's concern wrapped around Maura like a warm embrace and her cheeks pinked slightly at the thought. She would have given anything at that moment, for the tall detective to wrap her arms around her, and tell her everything would be all right.

Jane watched a flood of emotion pass across the doctor's face. Though she couldn't possibly know what Maura was thinking, Jane imagined that the woman was wrestling with some pretty angry demons. The urge to collect Maura in her arms and hold her until the storm passed was overwhelming. She looked away and pounded the rest of her beer"

"Hopefully one of these frees up soon," Jane commented, indicating the bar stools.

"No need, I think this is my song." Maura tossed back the remainder of her drink as the first chords of a song peeled out over the speakers.

"Let's dance!" Maura set down her glass and grabbed Jane's wrist, leading her to the dance floor. Jane reluctantly followed, still trying to comprehend that Maura had requested Showdown? A Black Eyed Peas song? The doctor was full of surprises.

Maura began to dance and Jane was momentarily incapable of breathing. She was elegant and graceful and in full control of her body. The overriding bass providing a steady beat that Maura had no problem moving to.

Jane swallowed hard. She had always ridiculed her colleagues for going to strip clubs and wasting money to watch girls dance, and here she stood, prepared to empty her 401k if it meant she could watch this woman do just that.

"Come on Jane dance." Maura encouraged.

Jane obliged, half so that Maura wouldn't stop, and half so that Jane wouldn't look so damn obvious watching. Jane loved to dance but was always self-conscious about it. The two pints of draft were starting to work their magic though, so Jane just went with it.

Maura just wanted to relax and let the alcohol and the atmosphere take over. She had realized at the bar that she was beginning to find herself attracted to the detective and it was uncomfortable. Hadn't Jane just finished telling her she was looking for Mr. Right? If Maura was honest with herself, she had made a pretty bold assumption about Jane over the last two weeks. Not that every female cop was gay, but Jane did fit many of the stereotypes. Was it just that her relationship with Kitty had brought the idea closer to the fore, or was she looking to find a relationship that had all the positive physical qualities that she had explored with Kitty but with a person like Jane?

Maura closed her eyes and threw herself into the beat. If she analyzed this anymore she risked exploding. Maura raked her fingers through her hair let the music resonate through her body.

Jane was less than a foot away from Maura but she could feel the heat from the woman's body. The floor got suddenly crowded as other patrons were drawn out by the beat. Jane watched the look on Maura's face as she became totally immersed in the song and a a chill ran through Jane's body. She was in deep trouble and she knew it. She closed her eyes and tried to tune everything out of her mind but the beat.

Jane sensed the distance between them closing as the floor filled up. She kept her eyes closed, hoping the disorienting effect of blindness and alcohol would keep her isolated.

Maura was just six inches away; her well heeled right leg planted squarely between Jane's. Jane could smell the fragrance of Maura's shampoo tinged with the musk of sweat and alcohol. It was an intoxicating combination that made Jane shiver. Then Maura casually draped her right hand on Jane's left thigh, and what was cold became a sudden inferno. One causal touch rocked Jane's senses and she bit back a groan.

Maura was feeling the effects of the martinis and letting it carry her through the night. She wanted closeness with Jane and she could have it here on the dance floor, with no consequences or implications. Women danced together all the time, it didn't mean anything.

Jane was acutely aware of the every movement of the woman in front of her. Fortunately their only point of contact was Maura's hand on her thigh, and if she concentrated, Jane could preserve the space between them. But then Maura turned around and pressed her shoulders back against Jane's chest and their bodies moved on a single plane. Jane could barely catch her breath, and it had nothing to do with dancing. Maura had reached back and grabbed the back of Jane's left leg for balance and Jane found the effort to keep her hands to herself with unbearable.

Maura turned her head sideways so that she could catch a glimpse of Jane's face. Jane's eyes were closed and she was totally focused on the music. Maura felt such desire for the detective that it was scary. She knew she would never do anything about it; however in the here and now she was going to let her fantasies take center stage and she imagined that the two of them were indeed flirting. Maura pushed harder into the curve between Jane's shoulders and ran her free hand through Jane's hair. Maura imagined that she felt the detective shudder and it caused the same reaction in her own body.

Jane felt Maura push impossibly closer to her and could not fight the urge any longer. Jane grasped the doctor's left shoulder and slid her right hand across Maura's smooth stomach, pulling the woman back against her body. They were just dancing after all.

Jane's touch on her stomach brought Maura over the edge, and she felt her legs start to fail her but instead of slipping to the floor she was held fast by Jane's grasp. Suspended in time, they danced, eyes closed but bodies pressed close. Jane reveling in the heat of Maura's breath on her shoulder and the feeling of their bare skin touching.

Maura's fingers grasped hungrily at Jane's body, kneading the taught muscles in her thigh and soft tresses that framed her face. Maura had never felt raw attraction like this before; she thought the other woman felt it too, but did not want to risk jeopardizing a friendship to explore what could be a short lived affair.

The song was coming to an end and Maura had to get out of there. She turned in Jane's arms and whispered into her ear.

"Thanks for the dance." Maura kissed Jane's cheek and paused before pulling back slowly, dragging her lips as she went. " Jane contemplated kissing the woman right there, but her good angel who she had been ignoring for the past ten minutes was shouting loudly for her to get out.

"Yeah, you too."

The women picked their way off the dance floor and found their way back to Barry who was now standing by himself at the bar.

"Where's the girl?" Jane asked, looking around at anything that wasn't Maura.

"Cute, but dumb as a stump. I don't think I am ready for this. You think Vince will mind if I leave?" Frost was looking dejected.

"Nah, he found himself his own fun." Jane pointed two the booth where Korsak and Ranger Pigeon were deep in conversation.

"At least one of us got lucky." Frost complained. Jane blushed; she was quite sure he hadn't meant her, but it didn't stop her from recalling what had just transpired between her and the doctor.

"Yeah, hey you want to blow this popsicle stand? I don't see Mr. Right, or even Mr. Right Now, so whats say we get out of here?" Jane didn't know why she was talking about Mr. Right, or doing so in such a crude way. But she was sure she didn't want the Doctor to think she was coming on to her.

"I'm done. Doc? How about you?" Frost looked at Maura. Maura contemplated her best course of action and knew that she had to get as far away from Jane as she could tonight. "I'm exhausted, I am going to catch a cab home, let Vince know I said good by.

With that, Maura turned, scooped up her trench coat and walked towards the door.

"It's a pity," Frost huffed. "She could have helped me get over Rhonda."

Jane saw the look of lust on Barry's face as he watched the doctor walk away and she wondered how closely her own expressions had mirrored his.

"You mean Maura? Shut up!" Jane pushed Frost so hard he slipped of his stool. "You have no chance kiddo, she is way out of your league." And out of mine too.


	8. Lesser Daemons

Read and review please. The biggest question is should it go episode by epi. by epi. because it could, or should I just get past that? Ya'll tell me.

Once home, Jane changed her clothes, grabbed a beer from her fridge and flopped down on the couch. She had been trying to get the thought of Dr, Isles out of her head since she left the bar, but to no avail. Jane switched on the highlights of the Sox game and looked around her apartment for something to distract her. God, she needed a hobby. She thought about calling someone, but the only person she could think of was her brother, and though there was a good deal of things she would talk to Frankie about, this was not one of them.

Jane tried to fathom how her mind had wandered so far off track. True, she respected and admired the doctor. The ME was confident, brilliant, and damn sexy; who wouldn't want to be around her? The trouble was, try as she might, Jane could not contain her thoughts to the platonic variety. She had only known Maura for a few weeks and in that time the doctor had worked her way into Jane's subconscious like no one else.

Rationally it made no sense. Jane liked men, she didn't have a great track record with relationships, but she never had a problem enjoying their company physically. And yet, every time she even thought about the doctor, Jane felt her insides quiver. Here she was pushing thirty, and her body was responding like that of a school girl's half her age. By far the biggest problem though, was the fact that she didn't want it to stop. She liked how she felt when she was around Maura, as frustrating as it was, and would much rather have that than nothing at all.

To further her angst, she had been treated to a taste of the Doctor outside of work. Contrary to Jane's assumptions, Maura was not rigid or stuffy, but enjoyed contemporary music, could dance really well and seemed to be able to relax in a way that eluded Jane. The ME had not needed any coaxing to venture onto the dance floor and work off some of the week's stress. And she did so in such an alluring way. But that was all it had been.

Jane closed her eyes as she lounged on the couch and let the memories of the evening's events cascade over her body. Her mind moved through the scenes, pausing on the feelings they elicited. She replayed them over and over; the heat rising in her chest and abdomen. Thinking about their last moment together on the dance floor, Jane could feel Maura's lips slide across her cheek. Jane felt the same urge that she had had earlier that night. The urge to keep Maura from moving away from her, to step in close to the gorgeous doctor and kiss her hard and deep right on her lips. Jane had mightily resisted that temptation in the Doctor's presence, but in the privacy of her own home and mind she indulged, and the thought was overwhelming. Her passion overcame her senses as she felt herself release all the built up tensions from her life.

The force of her own body's reaction was as much a shock to Jane, as the feeling itself. She was a grown woman who had enjoyed the pleasures of intimacy in the past, but never had her body's response been as strong, nor independent of any physical contact. The mere thought of Maura had brought Jane to this point, and she couldn't imagine what she would have done had she actually followed through with it tangibly.

It was at this point that the path of Jane's musings stopped. She opened her eyes and the full realization of what she was doing hit her. She was fantasizing about the doctor, about the straight doctor with whom she had to work on a daily basis. Jane felt a wave of fear and embarrassment that she had let her mind even go there, and aggressively willed herself out of her state of euphoria.

With a start Jane was up off the couch and headed for her shower. She needed to snap out of this before she saw Maura again, or she might just tip her hand in the woman's presence, and that would be disastrous. Jane frantically peeled her clothes off leaving a trail as she headed for the bathroom. She was putting up walls and making rules for herself as she went.

Rule one: she definitely could not spend any time outside work with Maura, at least not until she got her lesser daemons under tighter wraps. Jane opened the shower door and turned on the tap.

Rule two: absolutely no admissions of any kind to Maura or anyone else. Jane stepped under the shower and her chest constricted as the cold water hit her.

Rule three: Date more. Date more guys. The detective pressed her back against the wall and let the darts of water punish her skin in an act of contrition. Her legs slowly gave way and Jane dropped down into a sitting position, knees draw to her chest, hot tears cascading down her cheeks.

The harder she tried to push the thought of Maura from her mind the more she saw the doctor's smile, her eyes, her quirky disposition. Good God she was fucked. How had she let her life get so terribly off track?

Jane remained unmoving,for how long she could not recall. But when she did finally bring herself to get out of the shower she was shaking all over with the cold. The Late show was in full swing, and the thermostat in her apartment had already clicked into overnight mode. Jane pulled on a pair of sweats and climbed in to her bed exhausted. As miserable as she was, she deserved to feel that way and at the very least her physical discomfort became the most pressing thing on her mind. Thankfully it pushed thoughts of the ME to the side and allowed Jane to drift off into a fitful yet Maura free sleep.


	9. pathological

Maura walked out of the bar and flagged down the taxi that had just dropped a couple off at the restaurant across the way. She gave the driver her address and slumped back into the seat, eyes closed, mind reeling. The vodka martinis making blurry the edges of her usually crisp analytical mind.

She knew her own short comings. She could list them and enumerate the myriad difficulties they presented to her in social situations. Recklessness, however, was not anywhere in the tally. So how was it that, in the span of forty-five minutes, she had managed to metamorphose into a loose college co-ed with no inhibition and no regard for the consequences of her actions?

Since she was beating up on herself, she had to admit that she had, in a way, planed to behave in that manner and that alcohol was mere pretext, a lubricant. From the moment she walked into the bar she had started to construct the scenario, the music, the topics of conversation, even the casual drape of her tank top outside the waistband of her skirt. She had been angling for a dance with the sultry detective. Maura had ascertained that Jane was currently unattached and had believed that she would be amenable to the interaction. But once she had learned that Jane was straight, she should have aborted her plan of action. Yet she continued, more aggressively even than she had planned. Maura thought of how boldly she had pressed her body into the detective's, even as the woman was so obviously trying to maintain the distance between them.

What was she doing? Her behavior wasn't just out of character it was downright pathological. She needed to get her head examined; perhaps a brain scan or a quick neurological evaluation. Something, because Maura had no idea what was prompting her to behave in such an erratic fashion. She had just thrown herself at a colleague , a female colleague at that. For as oblivious as she was at times to acceptable norms, she knew this fell well outside the perimeters of social mores.

Maura was regretting the awkwardness that she knew would be a result of tonight's interlude. Jane, no doubt, would avoid her, look for reasons to send poor Barry down to the morgue rather than go herself. Maura could actually feel the detective retreating out of her life already, and it made her sad.

The car pulled up in front of her house, and she paid the driver and let herself in the front door. systematically she prepared for bed, moving through her evening ritual without regard to what she was doing, her mind still fully focused on Jane.

How had she managed to put herself that position? She never made unfounded guesses. In fact, she rarely made founded ones. So what had made her assume the detective would be interested in her? Maura thought back onto all their interactions, and found that each one was cast in bold relief in her memory. Stronger and more powerful than the surrounding thoughts, her time with Jane played like celluloid images in her mind.

From the moment they had met, she had sensed the fizzling of chemistry. Maura felt quite confident in her ability to read body language; it was biological, involuntary, and devoid of intent or deceit. Maura's illations had been based on Jane's own body language, which had been exceedingly clear. Maura now noted how, and how often the detective had looked at her. Jane's gaze had been powerful on Maura's body and categorically potent when they locked eyes. The thought of the detective's dark eyes capturing her own, sent a wave of heat through Maura's body, as she slid between the cool sheets of her bed.

No, she had not been wrong, Maura decided. There was defiantly something there, but Maura had miscalculated the detective's willingness to act upon it. Maura winced as she recalled the frantic nature of Jane's assertion that there were no suitable male partners at the bar, and that that was her incentive to depart. Jane had been making a statement. She pursues romantic pairings with men and was not willing to consider any alternative.

Maura knew that she should put thoughts of Jane out of her head and focus on other things in her life, but she had no willpower to follow through. She had been back in Boston for a few months now, and her friendship with Jane was by far the best thing that had come out of it. Even reuniting with Kitty seemed hollow and paled in comparison. There had been heat and understanding between them, but not once had Maura felt the intense appreciation that just one look from Jane filled her with.

As if on cue, her cell phone buzzed. Maura snatched it up, touched for a second by the outlandish hope that it might be Jane.

"Hey, just wanted to see if you have any plans for the evening and if not if you wanted company. I'm off for the next few days, let me know. Kitty."

Maura considered the text for a long while before punching in her reply.


	10. Homophily

Reader...Warning...you may object, but please hold out for the ending. There is a method to my madness and these scenes WILL move Maura and JAne closer together. I Promise!

Please comment though, in what ever manner you see fit. Reviews do help to influence the action. :)

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><p>"Kitty- Thank you for the invite, however I must decline. I have just settled in for the night and will be going to sleep shortly. -Maura"<p>

Maura considered taking Kitty up on her proposition, if for no other reason then to fill the void she was feeling with the company of another. However, she understood the implications in the text and did not want to negotiate that particular hazard this evening.

Returning her phone to the bedside table, Maura registered her disappointment that the text had not been from Jane. She wondered if Jane would ever be comfortable enough with herself and the world to accept attraction to another woman. Given her Catholic upbringing and adamant assertions regarding her heterosexuality, Maura doubted it very much. She switched off the lamp and settled into her bed. As her mind kept wandering back to Jane, Maura realized that there was a strong possibility of her interest in the detective getting the best of her, as it had tonight. Maura's social skills were awkward enough, without having to worry about spooking Jane with her attraction. Maura resigned herself to not pursuing the detective, and to be very diligent about that point.

Before Maura could ruminate on the matter any further, she heard the dulcet tones of the doorbell from the other room. She opened her eyes wide, and for the second time in a span of a quarter of an hour she found herself wildly hopeful that Detective Rizzoli had overcome her inhibitions. Though hoping was an altogether different thing then thinking it actually might be, Maura held out for it as she pattered to the door and looked outside to see who her caller was.

Kitty stood at her doorstep with a bottle in her hand and a perfectly sultry, wind blown look on her face. Maura opened the door and stepped aside to let the reporter inside.

"Good evening Kitty." Maura said almost curtly.

"Oh come on Maura, its not even nine o'clock. You can't be that pissed. Besides I come bearing gifts." Kitty smiled and held up a bottle of wine that Maura noted was not a casual purchase. Kitty leaned in to kiss Maura's lips but had to settle for an abruptly proffered cheek. "Oh, so its like that now?"

"Since we are no longer romantically involved it would be imprudent to continue relating to each other physically as though we were." Maura responded, trying to curb the annoyance in her voice.

"Do you want me to leave?" Kitty was less conciliatory.

Maura thought about the option for a moment before replying, "No,no, I'm sorry. Please come on in and have seat." Her manners trumping her desires.

Kitty registered the hesitation but chose to pointedly ignore it. If she was going to have a chance wooing Maura back, she was going to have to let it slide. Kitty had considered her prospects and realized that she wasn't quite ready to call it quits with Maura. The woman was stunning and considerate and an amazing lover, and Kitty was not going to let a little thing like a difference of opinion on public persona ruin it. Though she was not ready to come out professionally, once she had established herself as anchor material, she capitulated that she could probably work it to her advantage. What was more, having a smart, sexy, and well respected girlfriend like Dr. Maura Isles would be highly beneficial, if she did.

Maura followed Kitty to the sitting area but neglected to acknowledge the bottle of wine the reporter had brought with her. Maura sat in the chair opposite the couch and tucked her feet up underneath her as she appraised the woman across from her.

"So really Kitty, what is this visit about?" Maura asked when she had settled in.

"Why does it have to be about anything? Its a Friday night, I had no plans, we are friends, why does it have to be anything more than that? Just because we broke up doesn't mean we have to stop being friends. It was really great lately, with you around. We share history, and sometimes that kind of familiarity is comforting."

Maura had to admit the younger woman had a point. Part of what made their relationship work was the understanding and shared experience. Kitty knew Maura, she had long ago worked past the quirky exterior, the social awkwardness and the pedantic instructional conversational style. Furthermore, Kitty grew up in the same environment. Maura never had the need to explain any of the privilege that she was privy to, because Kitty had had it as well. True, Kitty had not gone to Europe for boarding school, but Miss Porter's in Farmington Connecticut, was a well respected prep school and one that had a long and illustrious list of alumnae. They had both enjoyed and endured the same lifestyle of maids and stewards and distant parents. They were birds of a feather, as the idiom goes.

"Maura?" Kitty had been waiting for a response, and was met with a blank stare past her instead. "Maura?"

Maura snapped back into the present and refocused her attentions to Kitty. "I am sorry, I think my mind wandered a little off track.

"Yeah, you looked a bit zoned out. What were you thinking about?" Kitty hoped that her words were having an effect on the Medical Examiner, slowly but surely working their way around Maura's defenses.

"Homophily." Maura said by way of explanation. "How a being is attracted to that which is similar to itself: like attracts like." Maura's tone was light, trying not to put any more importance in her words than she really intended.

"Interesting." Kitty said, extrapolating the doctor's train or thought and taking hope in it. "So are we going to crack into this bottle of vino or sit here discussing zoology?" Kitty displayed one of her most charming smiles, trying to be both assertive and submissive in the same gesture. Maura thought for a moment and opened her mouth to decline when Kitty interrupted.

"No strings, just two old friends having a drink after a hell of a week, fair enough?"

"Fair enough," Maura capitulated. Kitty was up off the couch and over to the bar in no time, making fast work of the cork and returning with two glasses.

"To old friends." Kitty said, raising a glass and tapping it against the one she had handed Maura. "Here's to us, who's like us..." Kitty waited for Maura to finish the line.

Reluctantly Maura continued. "Damn few!" Maura could not help but smile. She and Kitty had seen many theatrical productions over the course of their friendship and one of them was the Sondheim revival that Kitty was quoting. Maura, in her own way, used to tease Kitty about her propensity for quoting songs from musicals in any given situation, and here she was doing it again. It was comfortable and familiar and not exactly unpleasant.

"That really was the most bazaar show we saw." Maura recalled sipping the wine and easing into a more genial disposition, lowering her guard just a bit.

Kitty scored her victory but declined pressing her advantage further. She retreated to the sofa so as not to jeopardize the ground she had gained. This was silly, non-threatening, reminiscence of events that they had overlooked in the past few months in their haste to redefine their friendship. Kitty noted that the doctor's posture was less rigid and her face less drawn; this was her in.

"I beg to differ, the costuming in that was odd but not freaky, and the whole receding plot line was confusing, but I could name a few shows that we ought to have walked out of if we had lesser manners." Kitty had found purchase on the topic and was willing to ride it through to the end of the evening, if it meant that she would have an opening for a round two.

"Well yes," Maura considered, "There was that production of Animal Farm that I dragged you to." Maura giggled at the newly rediscovered memory.

"Or the one in New York that you insisted on seeing off, off, off Broadway" Kitty prompted.

"Ophelia's Madness. I really rather liked it. It was quite an interesting interpretation of Shakespeare through the eyes of a female character." Maura defended.

"No, not that one, the one you thought was going to be about evolution but was actually about Creationism and the evils of darwin." Kitty was leaning forward in her seat, eager to pull Maura out a little more.

As soon as the words were out of Kitty's mouth, Maura was filled with the recollection of the whole disastrous event. The show, the Q & A after where the entire cast and most of the audience had turned on them, and the shear imperceptibility of the playwrights assertions. At the time, the event seemed so horrible, but in retrospect it was quite amusing. Maura bubbled over with laughter, and Kitty knew she was back in the running.

The two woman continued chatting for the rest of the evening and the remainder of the bottle of wine. Kitty maintained a respectful distance and was carful to display only the most plutonic of intentions toward the ME. She kept the topics on the past and avoided references to their current employment or their recent romantic involvement. Kitty did not want to rattle the tentative connections she was building and instead was content to work diligently to reenforce the foundation.

At ten thirty Kitty rose and cleared the glasses and began winding up the evening. Maura noted the woman's consideration and the hour, and began to reassess her original reservations with regard to a continued association with Kitty. If Kitty was going to maintain this level of distance and respect, then Maura might just have a good friend yet. In school they had done things together and been friends, but they were a few years apart and had had distinctly different lives. Today, the age difference barely registered and there was nothing like the rigidity of the college social scene keeping them from being friends. Maybe even, dare she hope, best friends. Maura had never has a best friend. Someone she could call for anything at any time, with no strings attached. Someone who cared about her above all else, just because. If Kitty was truly seeking just a friendship, this might be a good thing.

Maura saw Kitty to the door. They exchanged an affectionate but wholly appropriate hug and Kitty left. Maura watched the woman retreat across the drive way to the waiting cab and felt not content exactly, but reassured. For as much as the debacle with Jane earlier in the evening was still weighing on her mind, she felt like she might have just found someplace to ground her thoughts, a place to prevent the "Gentle loosening of the moorings, sending the mind adrift." -A Delicate Balance by Edward Albee. O my, now she was doing it.


	11. Ester C

The following day, even though she was not scheduled to work, Maura decided to go into the office and clear out the few extra items that were left over from the week. She had had a rather restful night's sleep and her outlook was a good deal more positive then it had been only twelve hours before. She had thought a lot about Jane as she drifted off to sleep, but the anxiety over their interaction was not as intense. Maybe it was the fact that she now had the prospect of a good friendship outside of work, or that her friendship with Kitty could some how act as a buffering agent between her visceral feelings for the detective and the woman herself. It didn't matter, because when she walked into the building, Maura had a lightness in her heart. She could do this. She could navigate these difficult waters and emerge on the the other side.

Maura stood by the elevator bank waiting, absent mindedly humming as she did. Before her elevator came however. she herd the unmistakable sound of Jane's foot steps in the lobby behind her. Maura felt a Jolt of adrenalin and willed herself to turn slowly and casually around. Once she did she easily found the detective in the crowd.

Jane had forgone her usual suit in favor of more casual attire, signaling to Maura that Jane was not called in on job time, but rather had opted to come in on her own. She had stopped in mid stride and though facing Maura, was looking away over her shoulder, conversing with a uniform officer who she had been passing.

The moment afforded Maura the opportunity to really look at the detective, without having to be covert about her efforts. Jane was clad in straight legged jeans that hugged her body and accentuated the length and shape of her legs. She had also opted for a light gray long sleeve thermal shirt that hugged her form and displayed the contours of her strong arms, lean torso and quite adequate chest. Over top of everything was draped a Red Sox jersey, which was meant to obscure her shield and sidearm, but which hung causally open framing the body rather than covering it up. For as fashion backward as the detective was, Maura could not fault her choice of clothes. Jane finished her conversation and turned to continue on her way when she stepped right into Maura's stare. For a long moment neither moved. Maura ceased breathing and Jane felt a flush of heat rise in her body.

Maura was supposed to be home. Jane had called in before she left her house to make sure of it. And yet here she stood, mere yards away, looking as well turned out and radiant as ever. Jane knew that she had to look some place else but found her body was not responding to her brain's commands.

The doctor drank in Jane's gaze and let the feeling it generated fill her to the spilling point before she shifted her eyes to elsewhere on the detective's face. It was at this point that she registered how pale and drawn the detective appeared. Her face was gray and her eyes sunken deep in the their cavities. Maura's willpower to remain rooted to her position by the elevators desolved as she noted Jane's obvious distress.

"Oh my!" Maura exclaimed as she closed the distance between them and immediately began assessing Jane's physical being. "What did you do to yourself, what happened after I left?" The words came out of Maura's mouth before she had had time to consider their implications, but in her concern she really didn't care. Maura leaned in to get a better view of Jane's face.

"Nothing, I went home, I just didn't sleep well is all." Jane mumbled. The proximity of the doctor was causing Jane's senses to short circuit. She felt Maura's breath on her face and the warmth from her hand penetrated her thermal sleeve. It practically seared Jane's forearm.

"I would not say that it was nothing, you look half dead, like a cat left out in the rain all night." Maura turned Jane's wrist over and felt for her pulse, while the other hand reached up and pressed a palm to the detective's forehead.

Jane was struck but how accurate the doctor's assessment had been, but said nothing. She was heady with the feel of Maura's bare skin touching her own. Even though the doctor was all business, Jane was incapable of compartmentalizing her own feelings. Obviously the doctor had no compunction about physical contact, and didn't see any of what had transpired between them as a problem that needed any attention. So Jane let the woman minister to her.

For all Maura's talk about being socially awkward, maybe it was Jane who had the problems. Maura seemed totally at ease with herself and unapologetic in her approach to life. What did Jane know about friendship anyway? The last time she had had a best friend was in junior college and that seemed like eons ago.

So long as she followed her three rules, Jane surmised, everything would be ok. No contact with Maura outside of work was not no contact at work, right? Jane had to deal with Maura all the time. It would be impractical and maybe even questionable for the detective to avoid the ME.

This decision made however, Jane had to break free of the doctors touch before her body began to act on its own accord.

"Really Maura! I'm ok." Jane insisted, extracting herself by means of wild gesticulation. "I'm not half dead, but if I do kick it I will let you know and you can examine me fully." Jane smiled uneasily hoping she didn't come across as too harsh.

Maura noted the detective's abrupt change of course and immediately backed off, realizing how much she had been pressing into the detective's personal space. Maybe her new found sense of wellbeing wasn't offering her the protection from her attraction to Jane that she thought it would. Oh Dear.

"Well come down to the morgue when you get a chance, I have some Ester-C in my office, it will help boost you immune system. Though use of ascorbic acid is controversial with regard to the common cold, a recent study at the Mayo clinic shows a significant benefit to those living in extreme conditions, and though you are not a soldier or mountain climber, your job does afford you a higher level of stress then most, which might qualify you for..."

Jane looked incredulously at the ME. Maura noted the look and ended her ramblings abruptly. As she did Jane replied.

"Ill be down shortly." Jane smiled and shook her head. "You should go on Jeopardy or something."

Maura looked perplexed. Jane reached out and squeezed her hand. "Thanks for the concern." Jane turned and dashed for the elevator. Reluctant to leave but happy to have an invite down to the morgue. Maura remained until Jane disappeared. acknowledging all over again how hard it was going to be, dealing with Jane. Not that she minded it at all.

y 


	12. Oooo  Coffee

Maura sat at her desk flipping through paperwork. Try as she might, she could not settle her brain on the task at hand. When she went to bed the night before she had been so sure of her abilitiy to manage her emotional reaction to Detective Rizzoli. She had been totally unprepared for how seeing the other woman this morning had made her feel. Everything in her head was askew. And even more so than the previous day because she had the memory of last night underscoring her thoughts.

Maura closed her eye and let her mind drift as she had more than once that morning. She felt Jane's firm grasp on her bare shoulder and the detective's fingers as they slid across her abdomen. The thoughts brought a flutter to Maura's insides. She breathed deeply, letting the feeling fill her body as she inhaled. Maura would have to find a way to channel these feelings into a more productive use of her time, one that was not so intrusive and destracting.

"You enjoy the company down here that much or are you just meditating?"

The sound of Jane's raspy voice startled Maura out of her reverie and brought an aggressive pink tone to her pallor. Maura snapped open her eyes and focused on the woman standing before her. Jane was casually leaning against the door jam, watching the doctor with a look of amusement on her face.

"Jane, you startled me. I didn't hear you come in." The detective had caught Maura off guard and in a rare state of vulnerability. Maura wondered if anything had betrayed her thoughts to the detective. If they had, the woman gave no sign of it. "What can I do for you?"

"You are the one who told me to come down, remember?" Jane commented, feeling a little foolish for having actually taken Maura up on her offer. Clearly, Maura was quite content in her world of dead bodies and luxury cars, and whatever place Jane had in that world was insignificant at best. Still, Jane could not bring herself to take her eyes of the doctor, let alone do what she outght to and leave.

"Oh, right." Maura replied, wondering what it would take to get her brain functioning normally again. Maura turned in her chair and began to search her shelves for the small jar containing the vitamin C. Finding it, she prepared a glass of water with the powder and offered it to the detective. "Here, drink this."

Looking down at the glass, Jane scowled and recoiled. Obviously the doctor didn't know Jane at all. She had out willed even her mother when it cam to consuming disgusting concotions that are supposed to make you better but just tated like crap. She stared at the glass incredulouslly. "You think I am going to drink that? IDon't you have a pill or something."

Maura looked a little hurt but still tried to encorage the detective to do something that was for her own best interest.

"Studies show that acerbic acid is absorbed much better in this fashion. It is water soluable so water is a suitble vehicle to deliver it more directly into your body." Maura offered Jane the the glass again. She still saw the hesitation "If not for yourself then do it for me. It will make me feel better to know that you will feel better."

Who does this woman think she is? Jane Rizzoli doesn't drink gloppy crap for anyone.

The doctor caught her eye and gave Jane her best pleading look at which point Jane took the glass and began to drink.

Jane did not know what had come over her. She did not know what was more shocking, that she was drinking the most rank liquid she had ever consumed in her adult life or that she was apparently doing so willingly. So long as she held Maura's gaze though, she didn't seem to taste a thing.

"See, it wasn't that bad, right?" Maura took the glass and turned to rinse it, breaking the spell.

"Um, yeah! I do believe it was that bad. Yuck! Were you trying to poison me or slip me a micky?" Jane quiped.

"A micky?" Maura turned back to face Jane with a quizzicle and slightly distressed look.

"You know, a micky. You put it in a person's drink to knock them out." Jane expalined.

"What sinister machianations do you think me capable of Jane?" Maura reached out to reasuringly squeezed Jane's arm. A coy smile played at the edges of Maura's mouth as she arched her eyebrow in mock reproach. Maura knew she was flirting and likewise knew she should stop, but had underestimated the power of the detective's company.

"I... It was just..." Jane's eyes fixed on the doctor's. She was pretty sure she had spent more time looking into those hazel pools over the last two weeks than into the eyes of all the boyfriends she had ever had. Jane's brain told her to look away but her body simply refused to act according to the instructions. she was mezmerised.

At that moment Jane's cell phone chirped, startling both women and causing the moment to pass.

"Rizzoli" Jane barked with irritation. "Oh, hi Ma, yeah I know I'm not at home...That is because I am at work." Jane rolled her eyes with exasperation. "Don't worry Ma, I'm fine. Just a few little things to tie up." Jane mouthed her apology to Maura as her mother carried on. "No Ma, I did not call Mrs. Anzalottie's nephew...I'm not coming to dinner tonight if you invite him." Jane did not want to be having this conversation, and she certainly did not want to do it in front of Maura. "Ma, I'm in the morgue I gotta go."

Jane terminated the call and looked back over to the doctor. She was discretely busying herself with matters at her desk so as to not appear to be listening to the phone conversation. Jane gave herself the moment to rake her eyes over the doctor's body and appreciate her delicate yet strong figure. Jane's gaze trailed over Maura's legs and the curve of her calves as they dipped into a pair of spectaculty sexy pumps. Jane reailzed where her brain was going and she cut it off mid thought. _Remember __the __rules__ Rizzoli, __the __rules. #__2, __don__'__t __tip __your __hand.__ Don__'__t__ let __on, __don__'__t __tell. __A__look __like __that __is __a __tell.__ Fucking __scream__ it __from__ a __mountain __top __why __don__'__t __you._

"Sorry about that," Jane said, to move out of the moment in her head. "Mothers, you know how they are. What can you do?"

"I think it is nice that your mother is that concerned with your personal well being." Maura said in an almost wistful tone. "It's, it's mothering."

"Noooo. It is S-mothereing" Jane laughed. "There is concern and then ther is my mother. I'm sure your mother does things that drive you crazy."

"Not in an apparently overly maternal manner, no. That is not her way." The warmth and playfulnes that Maura had been feeling just a few minutes earlier had drained from her tone. The distraction caused by Jane's presence had been replaced by the ever confusing tangle of emotions that plagued Maura's mind when contemplating her relationship with her parents. Jane sensed the change and immidialy abandond her own internal monolgue is an effort to offer comfort to her new friend.

"Hey," Jane said stepping closer to the doctor. 'If if helps, if ever you want a dose of 'overly maternal' you can always borrow my mom."

Maura visibly perked up at Jane's suggestion.

"Besides, you would be the daughter she always wanted. Just don't tell her you respond to crime scenes looking like that, I'll never live it down." The detective joked.

"What would my choice of apparel have to do with your relationship with your mother." Maura's question was in earnest.

"You don't know my mother?" Jane's smile reached past her eyes and into her soul. She looked at the ME, whoes face held an innocent questioning expression, and realized that she could get past her innitial attraction to the woman and find a place where they were good friends. It would just take time.

"You want to go grab a cup off coffee from the Caf upstairs and talk about it?" Jane suggested, mentally noting that they were still technically at work, and that coffee was a totally platonic friend thing to do.

"Ooo coffee, I would love to." Maura had never really discussed her relationship with her parents with any of her friends. It was just not something that was appropriate. But in the context of her inchoate friendship with Detective Rizzoli, it seemed right.

Maura grabbed her purse and headed for the door. Regardless of what attraction she had for Jane, they were developing a relationship that Maura did not want to mess up. She would be more than willing to table her feelings for the detective, if it meant she could have Jane as a friend.


	13. PUKE

Over the course of the next few weeks Maura and Jane fell into an easy routine. They shared coffee, swapped stories about their youth and professional experiences, and commiserated about their relationships with their families. Jane applied the rules she had created for herself, and found that as long as she adhered to those codes, she could keep in check her attraction towards the doctor. She was finding it hard to live up to rule three, since she had never been good at dating guys anyway, but she did the next best thing and talked about it.

Maura opened up to Jane in ways she never had with another friend before. She was able to tell the detective so much about her life that she had never felt comfortable discussing with other friends. What was more, Jane did not judge, and frequently weighed in on Maura's side based solely on the one-sided evidence presented. Maura was starting to realize what it was to have an honest to goodness best friend. Jane was fiercely loyal and Maura never felt the need to question Jane's motives or to censor her speech for fear of her words being repeated or her meaning being misconstrued.

Maura's life had blossomed in ways that she had never believed possible. She was back in Boston, had a career that she thoroughly enjoyed, had a best friend, and had even reconnected with an old friend. Since that evening at the bar, Kitty had dropped around a number of times and Maura had gladly taken her up on offers to go out to gallery openings and even to the symphony. Jane was always so busy, either with work or family, that she never seemed to have time outside of work. But even that seemed to work out in Maura's favor. Seeing Jane only at work helped to keep Maura's feelings for Jane more professional, and hopefully time would temper Maura's attraction.

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><p>On the last Friday of September, Professionals for Unprivileged Kids of Excellence had their annual dinner dance. It started at seven and was being held two blocks from the BPD building, so Maura simply brought her evening attire with her to work and got ready in her office.<p>

She had toyed with the idea of drumming up a date for the event, but had put it off so long that before she knew it the day was upon her. Maura thought about her procrastination as she began applying her make up. Any psychiatrist worth her salt would have been able to readily identify why Maura had foregone the opportunity of other companionship, and Maura was starting to find her own inability to do so frustrating. Sure, she was attracted to Jane, but since nothing was going to develop on that front, Maura had better start looking elsewhere. The doctor stood back and admired her efforts. Maybe there would be a worthy soul at the gala she could attract.

"Wow, look at you. Got a hot date tonight or something?" Jane openly admired the doctor in her form fitting black gown. She felt a twinge of jealously for the guy who got to escort the doctor looking like that, and because Maura had not mentioned over lunch that the boring fundraiser she was going to was actually a party.

"No such luck I am afraid. It is just the fundraiser I told you about, it's black tie so I get to dress up." Maura raised her eyebrows and gave an excited smile, indicating the joy she was taking in her opportunity. "So how do you like my new shoes?" Maura stepped forward with one foot to showcase her new footwear.

Jane turned her attention to Maura's foot but was quickly sidetracked. The hem of the gown extended all the was up to Maura's thigh and with her foot pushed out as it was, the dress fell away revealing the full length of the doctor's shapely leg. Jane took a deep breath and bit back all the things she wanted to say and responded with a simple "Nice."

"So what brings you down here at this hour?" Maura asked, fussing with a strand of hair as she looked into the mirror.

"Just wanted to find out who you are sticking us with when you go to New York for that seminar thing next week." Jane had grown accustomed to the time she and the ME had been spending together and was a bit peevish about the idea that Maura was going to be gone for half the week. She knew it was irrational and childish, but she didn't care.

Jane had found that as hard as it was having the hots for your best friend, it was pretty cool having a best friend. She didn't have to bluster and put up a tough exterior like she did with the guys, and she also could talk about work and the grittier aspects of her job to someone who could understand.

"Dr. Pike if something major comes up, but if not, my team here can handle everything." Maura, returned her attentions to the mirror.

"Ew, He's so annoying." Jane whined and flopped down in a chair opposite the doctor. "If we catch something major I am going to fly down to New York and kidnap you back here, that's what's going to happen." Jane watched Maura laugh and told herself that five days was not that long a period of time.

"Knock, knock."

Jane snapped her head towards the door and looked for the person who was intruding on her time with Maura. In the doorway of the office stood a familiar looking Blond woman. She was tall and attractive and almost gave Maura a run for her money in the style department. Jane didn't like her at all.

"Kitty!" Maura exclaimed in a mildly surprised tone. "I didn't realize I was running late."

"You're not, I was early and I wanted to drop off a few of the Marathon applications. I know you said you would think about running for Professionals for Underprivileged Kids, so being the chair of the race committee, I figured I would use the time to wield my influence." Kitty held up the papers in her hand as proof of her assertion.

"Kitty this is the Detective I told you about, Jane Rizzoli. Jane this is an old friend of mine from BCU, Kitty Vansen." Maura made the introductions and returned to her preparations.

Kitty held out her hand and assessed the talk Italian detective who had stood up to greet her. Jane was fit and attractive and had a slightly exotic, brooding, nature about her. In another circumstance Kitty would have found the Detective extremely attractive, but remembering how Maura spoke about the woman, all Kitty saw was a threat.

"Detective." Kitty said perfunctorily.

Jane took the proffered hand and it hit her, why Kitty looked familiar. "Maura, you never told me you were friends with the enemy. Taking a night off from chasing ambulances and tracking the scanner?" Jane did little to hide the distain in her voice. As a cop she couldn't stand the predatory reporters at crime scenes. If they weren't trampling some poor person's lawn trying to get a better view, or hounding every person entering the crime scene, they were criticizing the BPD for their handling of a case or treatment of someone, all in an attempt to boost ratings and make a name for themselves. Reporters, for the most part, were parasites as far as Jane was concerned and now this parasite was wheedling its way into Maura's life. Jane did not like it one bit.

"Jane!" Maura reprimanded her friend. "Kitty is a respected journalist and an old friend, what would make you say such a thing."

"No worries Maura," Kitty said, meeting Jane's eye and understanding exactly where the detective's vitriol was emanating from. "It's a cop-reporter thing. Right Jane."

"Yeah exactly." Jane dropped Kitty's hand and picked up one of the applications for the marathon. "You didn't tell me you were going to run the marathon Maur."

"I haven't agreed yet. It is a really good cause and I do want to do it, but when I marathon I do it with a partner." Maura said applying eye makeup and oblivious to the unspoken communication happening behind her back.

Jane looked at Kitty, as if challenging her to be Maura's running buddy.

"I would do it with you Maura, but as chair of the committee, I have to be on the sides with the sponsors. I was able to secure donations from Underarmor and a few other big corporations. Vibram is even throwing in pairs of their five fingered running shoes." Kitty smiled at Jane, knowing that Maura would be pleased with her successful fundraising.

"I'll do it. I'll run with you" Jane said without thinking about it. "I do 20k races as it is, I am sure I could train up for a marathon." Jane smirked at Kitty.

"Really!" Maura said excitedly. "You will run with me?" Maura turned around and gave Jane a big hug of gratitude. Jane just looked at Kitty over Maura's shoulder and smiled contentedly.

"No problem, you make up the training schedule and I will be there." Jane returned to her seat triumphantly.

"Well I guess that settles it then." Maura said. "You have two more names to add to the list."

"Excellent." Kitty said, in a mirthless tone, trying to find a way to win back the ground she had just lost the the detective. "Just don't think about starting training next week in New York. I have to be in NYC for a meeting with our affiliate on Tuesday, I got tickets to see "Other Desert Cities" at the Booth, I know how much you had wanted to see it."

"Oh Kitty, that's wonderful. I do love Stockard Channing." Maura turned from the mirror, preparations complete and looked at her two friends. "What a perfect end to a perfect week." She smiled and collected her had bag and overcoat.

"I'll see you next Thursday then." Maura said to Jane as she made her way to the door. "Kitty, shall we?"

Kitty waited in the doorway long enough to catch the detective's eye. She wanted to make it perfectly clear, that what ever game Jane thought she was playing, she was out of her league. Kitty was not to be underestimated nor trifled with. Jane may have the doctor at work, and now as a running buddy, but Kitty had her the rest of the time, and Jane would do well to remember that.


	14. Bad Kitty

Jane spent the next two days thrashing about her apartment, wasting her first real weekend off in months, unable to relax or enjoy herself. She kept thinking about Kitty Vansen, and how it was even possible that Maura was friends with her. The whole reporter thing irked Jane, and that had set her off at first, but that was not the crux of the matter. When it came right down to it, the woman clearly had designs on Maura's attentions and there was no room for Jane in that dynamic.

Jane hadn't realized how much she had come to value her friendship with Maura or how vulnerable it made her until she had to contend with the prospect of losing it. Because she was used to being the one in control and calling the shots, finding herself so affected by another person was disconcerting. She had just started to warm up to the idea of having a best friend and suddenly she felt like a third wheel.

Jane kept asking herself what she had to offer Maura that Kitty didn't have in spades, and couldn't come up with much. Kitty and Maura came from the same place of wealth and privilege, and they had a shared history; Jane couldn't really compete with that.

Jane had texted Maura a number of times over the weekend; she had felt disconnected and in need of a little reassurance. Unfortunately she had received no response and it only served to compound Jane's stress.

When Monday morning came, Jane was in rare form, and everyone picked up on it. Having tried in vain to be rational about Maura's friendship with Kitty, and despite the nearly 30 miles Jane had clocked in runs over the weekend, she was an elastic just waiting to snap.

Korsak had a feeling Jane might get cranky when the Medical Examiner went out of town, but he had no idea it was going to be this bad. Even Crowe was afraid to throw out his usual round of PMS jokes. By lunch time, every detective in the squad had pleaded with Korsak to do something about it, and as loath as he was to enter the line of fire, something had to give.

Jane sat at her desk, reviewing and closing out case files when Korsak decided to go with the casual, friendly approach. "Hey Janie, how are you doing?"

"Cut the bullshit Vince." Jane said, without even looking up. "I'm being too bitchy for the boys and they made you the sacrificial lamb, scurry back and tell them to go fuck themselves." Jane made a dismissive motion with her hand, and refused to look away from her work. She knew that Korsak was not the enemy, but he was the convenient target that had presented itself.

"Come on now Janie, you don't have to be like that," Korsak tried another approach. "I know that the Doc is out for a few days and you must be missing your BFF..."

"My what?" Jane met his eye with a look Korsak had only ever seen her use on perps and her little brother, Tommy. "Don't even try to fucking psychoanalyze me Vince. This has shit to do with Maura, at least Frost knows better than to try to mommy me. Go find an injured skunk or something, will ya?" Jane returned her attention to her work, she knew she was being irrational and mean, but she just couldn't help herself.

Korsak stepped back as if he had been slapped. He was used to Jane being snappy, but not even her run in with The Surgeon had had this great an affect on her mood. He looked to Frost for some support.

"Back me up here Frost," He said as the young detective walked past. Frost simply widened his eyes as if to ask why he was being dragged into things. "You're her partner now Kid, it should be your ass on the line here."

Backed into a corner, Frost looked like he was about to loose his lunch. "Um, anyone can have an off day, right?" He equivocated.

Korsak stared from Jane to Barry and back again. "Brilliant! The two of you are freaking meant for each other. You act like you are about to kill some one," He pointed at Jane. "And your parter over their doesn't have the guts say anything about it. He'd probably puke 'em out if you did." Korsak turned his glare to Frost. "This is Homicide kid, its no place for weak stomachs or weak spines."

Korsak pushed past the younger detective and grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair. "And to think I was scheduled for vacation this week. To hell with this, it's my vacation pick and I'm takin' it. See ya in two weeks." With that, Korsak disappeared into the elevator, leaving behind and even more tense squad room than before.

Maura returned from New York on the Wednesday evening Acela train and spent the three hour journey contemplating the turns her life had taken of late. The weekend in New York had given her some perspective that she had been lacking, and now was the time she had to make some real choices about what she wanted for herself and her future.

Spending the long weekend with Kitty had been easy and familiar, but it wasn't nearly as gratifying as a simple coffee break with Jane. Maura had not realized how much every facet of her life was punctuated by her friendship with the detective until five days had elapsed without a word from her. Maura had texted Jane a number of times but had received no response. She was left to wonder if she had done something to offend her friend.

On Wednesday morning she had texted Frost to find out what was wrong. He had readily informed her that Jane was completely out of sorts and had even chased Vince away. When asked what the source of the problem might be, Frost said he had no knowledge.

Maura herself hope, somewhere deep inside, that Jane's mood was a reaction to Maura's absence. She hoped, but she was not ready to give that hope any credence. There were plenty of more reasonable explanations and as a scientist she would do well to remember the principle of lex parsimoniae, Occams's Razor, when selecting from among competing hypotheses one should tend towards the hypotheses that makes the fewest new assumptions. Assuming anything about Jane was never a good idea. Still there was hope.

It was for that reason Maura decided to not to leave in the morning, but on the last train out on Wednesday night. Kitty had argued mightily over her decision, even going so far as to playfully withhold Maura's cell phone to prevent her from going. In the end however, Kitty had relented and Maura had packed up and returned to Boston.

Wednesday night found Jane back at her desk in a quiet and darkened squad room. Her tour was long over, but she made no move to leave her desk. There always seemed to be a month's worth of administrative loose ends to tie up that no one had the time or inclination to seriously address, and Jane had made that her project. She found that in her current state of agitation, the aggravation presented by the minutia was preferable to any time spent dwelling on Maura.

As Jane was finishing another file, she heard the ding of the elevator as it stopped at her floor. The two detectives covering that night were in the break room watching reruns of "The Closer", so Jane looked up ready to pounce on who ever it was that was interrupting her quiet.

Maura smiled as she closed the distance to Jane's desk and raised up the large cups of coffee in her hand.

"I thought you might be here, and given the fact that you are not answering your phone, I thought I would come with a peace offering." Maura set the cup down in front of Jane and collapsed into the chair opposite. "So are you going to tell me why you are mad at me or are you going to force me to guess." Maura caught Jane's eye and held it with the intention of getting the answer she sought.

"Um, who said I was mad at you?" Jane asked, her irritation and tension almost instantly dissipated. Simply seeing the doctor before her, made Jane's mood lift. The heavy heart she had been dragging around for days was aflutter and a smile tugged at the edges of her mouth.

"Jane, no one needs to tell me that. You don't text or call me, you don't return my texts, you are on a rampage at work, Vince took his vacation, and you are here at a quarter to one in the morning crossing "Ts". Clearly something is wrong, and if you are not talking to your best friend about it, then your best friend must be it. Quite logical really." Maura leaned in and pushed the untouched coffee towards Jane. "And you haven't yet touched the coffee."

Jane broke from Maura's gaze to look down at the coffee cup. Jane had been so caught up in Maura sitting in front of her that she had completely disregarded the coffee. She opened the lid and drank, using the time to try to formulate a response. It was Maura that was bothering her, but not really. How could she tell Maura everything that had been going through her head over the last five days and not reveal the truth in her heart? Then the incongruity of the doctor's words struck her.

"Wait, I texted you and I tried calling. You never got back to me." Jane stated, dropping the coffee back on the desk as if it was tainted. Maura was baffled. She withdrew her phone from her pocket and placed it on the desk.

"That makes no sense. See for your self." Maura was not defensive and refused to react to Jane's agitation. Jane picked up the phone and proceeded to scroll through the options until she found the call/text log. Sure enough there were several communications sent to Jane. The detective checked the dates and times of communications from her own phone and saw no corresponding messages in Maura's inbox.

Jane stared blankly at the two phones in her hands. As she tried to fathom how this was possible, Jane's mind slid over to an observation she had noted in reviewing Maura's phone. Her name was at the top of Maura's favorites list, followed shortly by "Morgue", "Homicide", and "LaBella's Restaurant". Kitty was a distant fifth and what was more, Jane was just Jane, where Kitty was Kitty Vansen. True, this designation could be because Maura knew more than one Kitty and only one Jane, but the implication spoke volumes.

As Jane ruminated on this thought, an answer to her original question started to form in her mind. Maura had noted the change in expression on Jane's face but said nothing. It was the look Jane got when she had caught hold of the thread of an idea that might lead somewhere on a case. It was one of the detectives more sexy looks, Maura thought, watching her eyes darken as she retreated into her mind. Maura wondered where it was going.

First, Jane called herself from Maura's phone; it rang and rang and never but went to voicemail. Jane's phone remained still and silent. Next, Jane accessed the edit features under the contact info in Maura's phone and quickly surveyed the numbers Maura had saved. Once you assign a name to a number, all you ever see is the name when you dial or text, so if the number had been altered, Maura would have never known that she was not in fact calling or texting Jane. Jane scrolled to her number and saw exactly what she knew she would find; an altered number. Jane made the necessary changes to restore the correct contact info before proceeding to the Parental Controls in Maura's phone.

Having confirmed her first theory, Jane now hunted for how Kitty had managed to block Jane's number so that Maura would not get any texts or calls from her. Jane knew that it was Kitty and knew why. It was actually an ingenious plan, Jane had too much respect for Maura to ever do anything like this to her, but Jane appreciated the cunning involved. She appreciated it more because it was not cunning enough. Had Jane deployed this plan, she would have been smart enough to cover her tracks and change the settings back, bad Kitty, bad Kitty.

Jane located the setting bar. Sure enough, there were several blocked numbers and hers was buried in between what Jane surmised were inconsequential ones to hide the presence her own. Jane deleted her number from the blocked list and tried calling Maura's phone from her own. The "Law and Order" theme song started playing a few seconds later.

"Really Maur? Law and Order?" Jane laughed as she handed the phone back to her friend.

"Text me." Maura said with a coy smile.

Jane obliged, and a moment later the the echoing gavel sound from in between scenes on "Law and Order" reverberated from Maura's phone.

Jane laughed. It was a full, throaty, "I've been way too stressed for far too long," laugh that brought tears to her eyes. Maura joined in the gaiety and it was a long moment before either of the two women were able to speak.

"So what's my ringtone?" Maura asked as as she finally regained herself.

"I use the same one for everyone, but now I see I am going to have to find something special for you." Jane giggled. She had missed her friend. It had only been a few days, but Jane missed how happy and right with the world Maura made her feel. She looked across at the doctor and smiled a smile that she hoped expressed all that she felt at that moment.

"So I guess you figured out what the problem was. What was it?" Maura asked.

Jane wracked her brain to find a way to tell Maura without sounding jealous or accusatory, or down right crazy. Kitty was ostensibly Maura's friend, and Jane did not know how she would react to hearing Jane's deductions.

"Nothing," Jane heard herself saying. "It was a glitch on your phone, you must have accidentally blocked me. I fixed it. You're good now." Jane would deal with Kitty herself.

Maura's eyes narrowed slightly. She knew Jane was not telling her everything, but also sensed that pushing this point at this time was not wise. She would pursue it another time.

"So Jane, now that that is settled, what has been bothering you?" Maura reached over and placed her hand on Jane's. "Tell me what's going on." Jane felt her skin go hot at the place where their hands touched and she valiantly resisted the urge to react in more than a casual way.

"I guess I am just stressed, thats all." Jane lied, reclaiming her hand. "Work has been quiet, my mother increasingly annoyed that Frankie joined the BPD, my love life nonexistent, and Vince pissed at me for umpteen-million reasons, not a big deal." Jane tried to pile everything together to make a believable excuse for her behavior while not giving Maura any real insight into her moods.

Maura noted Jane's reaction and sat back in her chair. She hadn't even realized that she had reached out to touch Jane, and judging from Jane's reaction, it wasn't exactly welcome. Maura had to work harder to keep herself in check. She had to be a friend and a confidant, not an unwanted advance.

"Well, I can't do anything about your mother," Maura responded. "Vince is still on vacation, and I am not going to commit a homicide so you can ave a busy day. So I guess that leaves your love life." Maura smiled and settled into the chair sipping her coffee. She watched Jane over the top of her cup, assessing the detective's demeanor.

"What?" Jane asked, taking up her own coffee.

"Sexual frustration. It can manifest itself in myriad ways." Maura wasn't sure where she was going with this, but she felt like she had hit on something.

"Maura!" Jane groaned, jutting out her chin and throwing back her head . "Do we have to talk about this." Maura had zeroed in on the one thing that Jane had wanted to gloss over. Jane really should not have mentioned her love life, but it had slipped out and now Maura had seized upon it.

"Jane, it has been shown in multiple studies that human beings react to the level of stimuli..."

"Really?" Jane cut her off. "Can we not do this please? I'll do anything" Jane exaggerated.

"Anything? Well in that case, what say you agree to a date with the next eligible and appropriate bachelor you meet?" Jane just stared at the doctor, unsure how she had managed to loose control of this ship so fast.

"One date, I pick the guy." Maura could not believe she was sitting there agreeing to, no forcing Jane to allow her to fix her up with another person. But Maura wanted Jane's friendship more that anything and part of that meant her happiness as well. If this is what that meant, then so be it.

"Fine." Jane relented after a long pause. This was what best friends did after all. And what better way to cover Jane's increasingly uncontrollable attraction to the doctor that be letting her try to fix Jane up. It didn't hurt that the prospects were few and far between, and that Maura had unknowingly made an unmeetable stipulation in the description of the bachelor. There was no way she would find anyone appropriate for Jane.

"Goodie, then it is settled, you you want to go have a drink?"

Jane was poised to say yes, when her rules flashed through her mind. The last drink she had shared with the doctor had been too hard to get over to do it again. Jane had to remember the rules, especially since they had just finished talking about hooking Jane up with some random guy. As much as Jane wanted to, she politely declined and made the excuse that she was too tired and should go home.

Maura frowned but then accepted the excuse.

"We really have to do something outside a crime scene you know." Maura kidded as the two women collected their things and left.

"Ok," Jane lied. "We should do that."


	15. Advantage Jane

Over the next few days, relative calm returned to Jane's mind and her life. Maura was back in the morgue and Jane was number one on her favorites list. Unfortunately, the specter of Kitty Vansen still loomed large, so Jane's good mood was not completely restored.

Kitty was a problem. She was obviously threatened by Jane, and had no compunction about violating Maura's trust or privacy to eliminate the threat. On that point, Jane knew she had the upper hand. Whatever Maura saw in Kitty, her lack of integrity would be a deal breaker. The problem was going to be getting Maura to see it.

Jane had made a split second decision not to tell Maura about the phone, and after replaying that decision in her mind, she knew she had done the right thing. Had Jane revealed what she knew, Kitty, undoubtedly would have made some reasonable excuse when confronted, and Maura would have believed her. Maura was trusting and loyal to her friends; It was one of the things Jane cherished. But in her efforts to give Kitty the benefit of the doubt, Kitty would know that Jane was on to her and know to be more cautious. As it stood now, Kitty had no clue what or if Jane knew about the sabotage; it gave Jane the advantage.

Now, Jane had to find a way to exploit that advantage and reveal Kitty for what she was, before Maura got hurt. Unfortunately, the only way that would happen would be if Kitty were caught en flagrante. Kitty was smart so Jane had her work cut out for her.

On Sunday, Jane headed over to her parent's house for dinner. She had yet to devise her plan of action regarding Kitty, but her mother was making pasta fagioli and Jane didn't want to miss it. Unfortunately, fate had other intentions. After Frankie broke her nose with an ill timed elbow during one on one in the driveway, Jane got called to the scene of a priority homicide, effectively ending her participation in family dinner. Jane tried to feel bad about missing it two weeks in a row, but the prospect of seeing Maura negated any guilt which may have developed.

Between conferring with her commander and changing her clothes as she drove, Jane could think of only one other thing, Maura. In truth, she was a constant thought in Jane's mind, but the anticipation of seeing her made the detective feel a bit giddy. Jane acknowledged her school girl ways and made a mental note to get herself together, but for now she was content to savor the warm feeling that spending time with Maura engendered.

When Jane drove up, the first thing that caught her eye was Kitty Vansen and her camera man lurking around the entrance to the crime scene. There were so many things that Jane wanted to say to the woman, but this was not the time. As she walked towards the entrance, she saw Crowe approach Kitty to give an interview. Usually, Jane was happy to let any of her fellow detectives chat away with the press, so long as Jane didn't have to do it. Tonight though, Jane saw an opportunity a seized it.

"Can't say this on camera, but we call Dr. Isles, Queen of the Dead." Crowe began as Jane approached.

"What's that Crowe?" Jane interrupted, without so much as acknowledging the reporter.

"Geeze, take a Midol." Crowe whined.

"Commander cleared you?" Jane turned her back on Kitty, not rudely or even apparently intentionally, but enough to show Ms. Vansen who was in control here.

"What's it to you?" Crowe responded.

"It's my case." Jane continued, loud enough for the reporter to hear.

"Since when? I'm up. I got clearance, move" Crowe postured.

"I just spoke to the commander, it's my case. Where's Frost?" Jane was all business and had no time to get bogged down in Kitty's petty machinations, or at least that was the image she was running with.

"Losing his lunch, where else?" Crowe capitulated.

The two detectives made their way towards the house. Still irked about losing the case, Crowe couldn't help but taunt Jane as she entered the frozen zone. He had noted that Jane was not as pissy as earlier in the week, but he wasn't going push his luck either, so he left it at that.

Jane felt a bit triumphant of her handling of Kitty as she and Frost entered the house, but her good humor was short lived. Jane saw Korsak in the front hall and an immediate feeling of dread came over her.

"Korsak, I thought you were on vacation?" Jane inquired, knowing it had to be bad if Vince had come back.

"I cut it short." There was no trace of ill will in his tone. What ever trivial disagreement they had had last week, this case was big enough for Korsak to forget he was mad. Jane followed Korsak into the living room and was rewarded with the sight of Dr. Isles bent over their corpse, examining the injuries.

Jane felt a smile tug at her mouth, but narrowed her eyes and steeled her emotions to focus on the case. She leaned in and listened as the doctor explained the wound sustained by the man sitting bound, gagged, and dead on his living room couch.

Maura turned to address her comments to Jane and immediately noted the break in the detective's nose. She commented on the nature of the injury and returned her focus to the body before her, least her concern for Jane's wellbeing be misconstrued.

Jane had thought about this moment as she was diving over. Though it went against everything she had been telling herself for weeks, Jane had decided that Kitty in the picture had changed the game. Jane could not be sure if Kitty saw Maura as an object of affection or just a friend, but as either one, if Kitty was in then Jane was out. Jane was not going to let that happen.

"Could you bump this out for me?" Jane asked a bit reservedly.

"Can't you do something safe, like yoga." Maura kidded, as she eagerly abandoned Mr. Yeager on the couch to address her full attention to Jane. "It may hurt a little." Maura reached out and grasped the detective's sculpted jaw. The two woman exchanged looks and the thing that had been fluttering in Maura's stomach all evening, began flapping wildly. Something had changed in Jane; she just couldn't put her finger on what it was.

As they processed the scene it became increasingly clear why Korsak had cut his vacation short. Though Charles Hoyt was safely behind bars, the homicide they were investigating had his MO written all over it. Jane's mood darkened considerably as a familiar fear lapped at her chest.

"Well you asked for it." Maura joked as Jane stood rubbing the back of her neck. Maura had noted that this was one of Jane's tells; she did it when she was nervous or unsure.

"I what?" Jane was brought out of her daze.

"You were the one complaining that things were too quiet." Maura ticked off boxes on the paperwork and directed her unit to transport the body.

"No."Jane strung out the word for emphasis. "I said work had been quiet, not too quiet. There is a difference Maur. Besides I also distinctly remembered commenting on how my mother is in a snit about Frankie joining the police department, but she hasn't lightened up on that, in fact she was on my case about it today." Maura laughed openly causing Jane to laugh in spite of herself.

"Well Vince does not seem as upset with you any more, that's a good thing." Maura was trying to make light conversation regarding something other than the Hoyt like crime which had been perpetrated on the premisses. "I guess that leaves your love life."

As she said the words, their meaning entered Maura's head. She had promised, actually threatened to hook Jane up with an eligible bachelor, Maura watched Jane's expression and was a little surprised when she reacted with less vitriol then she had grown accustomed to.

Jane thought about it for a second and decided that her screwed up love life really didn't bother her all that much anyway. As long as she had Maura, she wasn't interested in bothering with anyone else. It was almost a relief. And it provided the perfect cover. So long as Jane was trying to date guys nobody, including Maura, would suspect that she had inadvertently fallen for her best friend.

"Yeah, there is that, what exists of it." Jane gave an ironic chuckle. "I suppose you are already on the prowl for the perfect fix up huh?" Both women laughed and returned to their work. Jane combed the scene with her eyes and tried to replay in her mind what had happened there. As distracting as Maura could be, the crime scene had it's share or diversions.

Jane asked a passing tech for a scanner as Korsak cornered her about one of their points of contention. "Hoyt is the reason you don't want to be partners isn't it?"

Jane looked up at Vince and answered, all the while cognizant of the fact that Maura was watching the interaction, probably ticking off the list of things Jane had said was bothering her. With this overture of good will there would be one less thing Jane had to blame her agitation on. No matter though, there was always her sex life.

As if on cue, a dark haired agent entered the room, flashing his credentials and looking for the detective. Jane was incredulous. "Really?" she thought, as Maura shot Jane a impish smile that said, "And here is the available, bachelor, fix-up I ordered for you." As she turned to address the agent though, the smile she offered him was more perfunctory and did not extend to her eyes. For Jane she could fein excitement, but Agent Dean deserved no such courtesy.

With the arrival of the FBI, Jane's mood soured considerably. Feeling challenged at her own crime scene brought out the snarky side of Jane, and she couldn't resist needling the agent. If he took the bait and proved himself an inappropriate hothead, then all the better.

Maura narrowed her eyes at Jane, but was pleased that the agent did not rise to the bait. If pairing Jane off was the way to calm her anxieties and find a comfortable middle ground, then at least Maura could be reassured that this agent was not easily riled up. To underscore her intent, Maura invited Agent Dean to join them for the autopsy, and left the room flashing a victorious smile over her shoulder at Jane.

Over the course of the next few days the investigation proceeded at a quick clip. Jane had little time to dwell on the fix up that she knew Maura was planning. She made a visit to Hoyt in lock up, she told the commander and Frost it was to see if she could ascertain any pertinent information, but it was mostly just to reassure herself that he was, in fact, still behind bars.

Since Mrs. Yeager was located, Maura had been elbow deep in the first two victims. She wanted to glean every speck of information she could to aid in the investigation, but she also felt that Jane's piece of mind was held in the balance and that she had real power to contribute. She had had to cancel the symphony with Kitty and had missed the Tuesday evening speaker at Kitty's club, but this case was too important to leave it to anyone else.

Wednesday night Maura got home well after midnight and was feeling particularly drained. She pulled her coup into the driveway and sat there for a while feeling the weight of the case press on her psyche. The special agent she wanted to fix Jane up with had stopped by her office earlier in the evening and had asked her help on a related case. The information she had been given was more than disturbing, it was terrifying. The FBI believed that the apprentice was an ex-Special Forces member who worked for the CIA. Villains didn't get any scarier than that. What was more, the information was confidential and labeled so for national security reasons. Maura had asked if Detective Rizzoli had been informed but was told that no one in The BPD had been cleared to know as of yet. Maura hated withholding information and that it was so important to this case made it that much more difficult. Just thinking about it gave Maura a head ache. She turned the engine off and reached over to get her bag.

From out of nowhere, the car door was unlatched and swung open. Maura jumped and let out a terrified scream before she realized that it had been Kitty who had opened her door.

"What on earth are you doing?" Maura snapped, as she clutched her chest and tried to still her pounding heart.

"Sorry Maura, I thought you saw me. I stopped by to see how your were doing and when you didn't get out of your car I...I...well, sorry." Kitty looked appropriately contrite as she backed away from the car and let Maura exit. "I know you have been working hard on your case and I thought a quick nightcap would be in order." Kitty held up a bottle of Remy Martin Louis XIII and smiled.

As much as Maura wanted to go to bed and bury her head under a pillow, the $1500 bottle that Kitty held in her hand said that there was good news somewhere and that Kitty wanted to share it. Besides, Maura felt she could use a drink.

"So what's the occasion?" Maura asked, letting herself in to the house and dropping her bag and files on the counter. "That is not your run of the mill X.O." Maura nodded at the bottle in Kitty's hand.

Kitty smiled appreciatively that she could always count on Maura to know the finer things in life. "The substitute anchor position." Kitty said with a practiced nonchalance, as she crossed to the bar.

Maura stopped and turned to her friend. "Really? Oh Kitty that is wonderful. That is good news."

"Kurt talked to me today and I have my first broadcast this weekend. I told you it was only a matter of time, soon enough it will be weekend anchor and then before you know it prime time with Kitty Vansen." Kitty handed Maura a glass of cognac and smiled.

"Congratulations!" Maura raised her glass then took a sip of the smooth warm liquid. "Mmm this is fantastic."

The two woman crossed to seating area and got comfortable on the couch.

"So enough about me, how is work going for you?" Kitty asked earnestly.

"More stressful then you can imagine. We have a really tough case right now and it is only getting weirder." Maura closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of the cognac.

"The Yeager Murders?" Maura nodded. "Do you have any leads?" Kitty prodded gently, careful to not make her inquiry sound like an interrogation.

"Yes and no. I wish I could talk about it, but I can't, you understand. Suffice it to say, evil is alive and well in Boston."

"I understand," Kitty sipped her drink and changed the subject.

They chatted idly for a half an hour and Kitty got up to go home. Maura was fading fast and Kitty did not wish to over stay her welcome. She cleared the glasses to the kitchen sink and reported that the Remy Martin was staying so they could toast the end of this case, when it came. Besides, it had already served its purpose; she had gotten what she went there for.


	16. Ockham's Razor

By the time Saturday arrived, Jane was exhausted. She had been working nonstop on the case and the old anxieties that plagued her in the wake of her first run in with Hoyt had returned. She had spent the better part of the week going over her old case notes and research on Hoyt to try to identify who the apprentice might be. Not only had the effort had not paid off, it had awakened the old doubt and fear that kept sleep at bay. It repopulated her conscious mind with snippets of her experience that would play over and over again.

Drained and angry at herself for not having beaten her PTSD, Jane flopped down on her couch with a beer and clicked on her TV. The weekend evening news was just coming on and the teaser caught her eye dissuading her from changing the channel. She had to wait through the opening credits and bullshit banter about the weather before they went into the story, and the whole time she told herself she was just imagining what she had heard.

Then she saw Kitty Vansen's face, but barely acknowledged the woman, as she focused on the words being spoken. Jane didn't realize that she had let the bottle in her hand slip to the floor as she sat agape, listening to the news.

"Our top story tonight is a Channel Six exclusive. Boston Police are currently investigating a double homicide in West Roxbury that our sources say is connected with the notorious serial killer Charles Hoyt. BPD officially denies any connection, but Channel Six has been able to confirm that the Department is exclusively pursuing leads based on a nexus with the Hoyt case.

Last year Charles Hoyt was captured and convicted of several brutal murders and though he is still incarcerated, it appears as though he has been able to continue his rein of terror from behind bars. What initially appeared as a copy cat killing was quickly linked more directly to Hoyt, through evidence and details present at the new crime scene that were identical to those at Hoyt's murders but not released to the general public.

Channel Six has confirmed that the detectives originally assigned to the West Roxbury Murders were replaced by the lead investigator on Hoyt's case. Furthermore, BPD has already interviewed Hoyt in his correctional facility and sought the aid of the FBI."

Jane was dumbfounded. Who the hell had leaked the information to the media? Jane's first reaction was Crowe, but her gut told her otherwise. The fact that it had been Kitty Vansen reporting made Jane's mind go to a far more sinister place; Maura.

Jane switched off the TV and grabbed her cell phone. It chirped in her hand before she had the chance to punch in any numbers. Korsak had apparently been watching the same broadcast.

"How the hell did that information get out Jane?" Vince asked before Jane could say a word.

"I don't know, but I have a guess." Jane reached for her coat and keys and headed for the door.

"So who?" Korsak prodded.

"I'll let you know after I go to see someone." Jane hung up and headed for her car.

Kitty might have been a great investigative reporter, but no one was that good. Jane knew something about investigations, and she could tell reverse engineering when she saw it. Kitty had ascertained certain facts about the case and then done the leg work to support the conclusion she already had. It was tantamount to a cop having inadmissible evidence, going back and investigating leads that they knew would bring them to the same evidence, so that inevitable discovery could be argued in court. Damn Kitty was good, but Jane was better.

Jane knew that Kitty had gotten her information from Maura, it was the only logical explanation. She also knew that Maura was too professional to have willingly breached any ethics standards in providing sensitive case materials to the media. This meant Kitty had obtained her information surreptitiously, and that Maura would be none the wiser. Unlike the phone scam though, this was about work, and people's lives. Jane was not about to play a game of "I know something you don't," in order to get one up on Kitty, or spare Maura's feelings regarding her so called friend.

Jane fought her way through traffic and arrived back at work just in time to see Maura exiting the building and walking towards her car. Jane haphazardly ditched her own vehicle at the curb and ran to intercept the doctor.

"Maura! Hold up!"

Maura stopped just as she was about to open her door and looked up as Jane hurried across the street. The detective was wearing an intense, aggressive look that made Maura's breath catch. There were so many things about Jane that did that now Maura had lost count. It seemed that whatever face of Jane Maura was looking at, was somehow sexier and more alluring than the last. Maura couldn't decide what she wanted more, to ravage Jane or let Jane ravage her, not that the idea would ever see the light of day.

"Jane?" was all the doctor could say before the detective was upon her.

"When was the last time you talked with Kitty Vansen?" Jane asked, stopping just inches away from the doctor. Jane could feel the heat from Maura's breath and read the surprised look on her friend's face. Jane had thought about the best manner to handle this all the way over, and had realized that there was just no good way to do it. Maura was fiercely loyal, it was one of the many things Jane loved about her, but it would also inhibit her ability to be truly objective about the matter. Jane knew that, given the opportunity, Maura would defend Kitty and rationalize or justify her actions. Jane was about to expose Kitty for what she was, and Maura was not going to like it.

"Why do you ask?" Maura was confused by the question and by the domineering tone of Jane's approach. Maura was balancing on the edge of the curb, and put slightly off center by the close proximity of the detective.

"Because I am," responded Jane, attempting to sound more conciliatory, but not managing it well.

"Is there a problem with Kitty?" Maura started to feel worried.

"In a manner of speaking, yes. So when was the last time you saw or spoke with her?" Maura's worry was fast escalating to panic, and Jane saw the reaction. Her best friend compulsion to quell that fear was quickly trumped by her detective instincts, which told her wrong footing Maura was the only way to elicit candid, unconsidered responses from her. "Well?"

"Um, last Wednesday night. She stopped by as I got home from work. We had a nightcap and she went home. What is this about Jane?"

"As you got home from work? What do you mean by that?" Jane pressed, knowing she would have to allay Maura's fears soon.

"Ahh, I pulled up to my house and she was already there, she had some good news to share. We went inside, we had some cognac and she went home about a half an hour later. Jane, tell me what is going on." Maura was starting to get irritated and Jane knew the seconds were ticking down.

"It couldn't wait until morning? She couldn't share the news over the phone, it had to be in person at two in the morning?" Jane knew what time Maura had left work and found Kitty's behavior suspect at best, the question was did Maura?

"I don't know. She was happy and had good news and wanted to share it with someone, isn't that what you have girl friends for, to share without worrying about social protocol? Now Jane, I demand you tell me what this is all about!" Maura moved forward to make her point, forcing Jane now, to take a step back.

Jane didn't know about social protocol, but a two am drop-in visit was a bit much for anyone. Furthermore, this new information put her no closer to an answer than before, but it succeeded in making her feel particularly peevish. That Kitty would stop by uninvited, at two in the morning, and be welcomed in by Maura, made Jane jealous. She knew it was irrational, and that it had no barring on the issue, but the thought still temporarily short circuited her cognitive process.

"Tell me Jane. Has something happened to Kitty, Why are you asking about her?" Maura's voice dropped and became more demanding.

Jane was still trying to put everything in order and didn't have a well formulated answer for the doctor; her irritation flared. "Because, she just reported privileged information about my case on the evening news, that's why. We know that the Yeager murders were perpetrated by an apprentice trained by Hoyt, because of an "unreleased detail" from Hoyt's crime scenes, and now, so does everyone in the Greater Boston Area. There were four people in that room when that was discussed and it's not a coincidence that the reporter who broke the story is girl friends with one of them.

Maura was taken aback. The venom in Jane's voice was a shock, as was the content of her diatribe. "You have some nerve, Detective Rizzoli! How dare you accuse me of compromising my integrity is such a manner, and to imply that I passed the information along because Kitty was my girlfriend?" Maura poked Jane in the chest and forced her backwards across the sidewalk. "I thought you knew me better than that, but to stand here and accuse me of such an unethical breach of professionalism based on..."

"No!" The last thing Jane had meant to say was that Maura had done anything wrong, but as she thought about it, it had kind of sounded that way. "No, not you!"

Jane grabbed the smaller woman by the wrist to prevent her from jabbing her any more. "Maura, I didn't mean it that way. Yes, I think Kitty got the information from you, but I never said you gave it to her." Jane held Maura's eyes and tried to communicate the full meaning of her words in the look. She saw that Maura was not convinced and searched for a way to convince the doctor of her earnestness. "I know she is your friend and all, but this is more than telling tales out of school."

"I don't believe it Jane." Maura looked away and reclaimed her hand. "You didn't like Kitty from the outset, and you are seeing sinister machinations where none exist."

"It doesn't much matter if you believe it or not, it's the truth. There is no way anyone got all the information that Kitty reported tonight, without having an inside line on the investigation. It is the simplest of explanations. You're the one who always harps on that Akron's Razor thing." Jane's tone was pleading now, trying to get Maura to not just hear her but listen to her words.

"Ockham's Razor. However, the flaw in that analysis is that you are making rather grand assumptions about Kitty."

"Really? I'm assuming that she is a driven, career motivated, professional with little compunction about bending the rules because she has her sights set on bigger things? No Maura, that is not an assumption; that is a fact. And what is more, your razor idea says nothing about no assumptions, only that you should go with the hypothesis that makes the fewest. I know what Kitty is; I know what she is capable of, better than you. I'm just trying to find out the where and when of it. You don't think that it is possible that she overheard a conversation you had with the lab, or peeked into your files while you were looking the other way?"

Maura was ready to persist in defense of her old friend, to vehemently argue that Jane was our of line in her accusations, but something inside her held her back. Maybe it was because she had once voiced the same suspicions about Kitty to herself, or maybe it was that Jane had brought up Ockham's Razor.

Maura had explained the idea to Jane a few weeks back and Jane had treated it with her usual casual regard, but she had obviously been listening to Maura. This was what Jane was, a straightforward, sincere, caring, person who gave each of her friends the fullness of who she was and completeness of her attention. Maura could not say that about Kitty. Jane would not level such accusations lightly, and as much as Maura wanted to protest and demand hard proof, her own doubts won out. Maura did not need evidence to prove the Kitty had traded on their friendship to gain a leg up in her career, she needed proof that the reporter had not.

Jane saw the turning of the tide in Maura's eyes; she saw so much in them that the detective wondered if the doctor knew she was practically delivering a soliloquy. The initial defiance followed by the grain of suspicion, then the reevaluation and a weighting of the evidence eventually coming to rest on acceptance of Jane's assertion.

Jane took Maura's hands in her own and once again captured her gaze. "So how do you think she got the information?" Jane gave the doctor's hands a small squeeze and realized how cold they were.

"I had a stack of files pertaining to the case with me on Wednesday. I set them on the counter when I got inside. I must have left Kitty in the room alone at least twice, once to get my slippers and once to use the ladies room, she had ample time to rifle through them." Maura's face was crestfallen. This kind of breach of trust was acutely unforgivable and it hurt to loose a friend because of something so preventable. "I'm sorry Jane, I...I"

Jane dropped Maura's hands and collected the smaller woman in her arms. She saw Maura's pain and understood it completely. Betrayal was a bitter pill, and from a person so close, it was that much harder.

"Shhh, don't you say another word. You have nothing to apologize for and I refuse to listen. Kitty did, what Kitty did, end of story. I know friends are not easy to come by, but you have me Kiddo, and that is never going to change."


	17. Home Jane

_**To all who read this before... I apologize...I loaded up the wrong file and when I realized I though I aborted the publish...guess not. So Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain, this is the chapter as it was supposed to go up. Plot will divert from what you read before**_

* * *

><p>After their exchange, Jane knew that Maura was more drained than she let on. She had seen it in the woman's eyes. So Jane didn't ask Maura if she wanted to talk, or if needed anything; the detective simply stepped into protector mode and acted. She took Maura's keys from her hand, helped her into the passenger's seat and drove her home.<p>

Jane was thankful that Maura was not in a conversational mood. Though there was much that she wanted to ask, Jane had to figure out a way to wrap her head around the information she already had. Maura had said something that had screamed out for clarification, but Jane knew better than to ask for it. Instead, she went over it again, and again, trying to find the flaw in her conclusion, she could not.

Maura had been outraged at the implication that she had passed information along to Kitty because she was the doctor's "Girlfriend." Jane was quite sure she had not implied anything of the sort, but Maura's misunderstanding spoke volumes. If true, it explained so much, and rendered the situation that much clearer.

They drove in relative silence, breaking it only for Maura to give Jane directions. Maura didn't feel up to any more inquires regarding Kitty, and she was grateful for Jane's sensitivity in the situation. She wanted to tell Jane everything about Kitty, about the nature of their past relationship, about the doctor's past suspicions, all of it. But Maura knew that every piece of new information would bring with it another question, and Maura was just not up for where she knew that scenario would lead.

Instead, Maura stole the opportunity to observe the detective in the relative darkness of the car. Jane was concentrating intensely on the road, and purposefully not looking at Maura. She was giving Maura space too sort through her feelings; Maura knew that she loved the woman for it.

The faint glow of the dashboard lights illuminated Jane's face, and Maura nestled down in the corner of her seat and just stared. She had always found cars to be extraordinarily sexy machines, and the sight of Jane effortlessly commanding her Mercedes SL500 was reeking havoc on Maura's senses. As angry at Kitty as Maura was, and for as much as she wanted to chastise herself for being a fool, just looking at Jane's face made everything hurt less. It was that realization that brought the torrent of tears to Maura's eyes.

Jane reached out and found Maura's hand to give it a gentle squeeze, before returning it to the gear stick to down shift in traffic. The brief contact sent a flutter of electricity through Maura's body. Maura turned away and stared out the front window. This friendship, with this woman, was far more than Maura could have ever calculated, and the last thing Maura wanted to do was to compromise it by introducing the element of physical attraction. Jane's friendship was too important to Maura's whole being, to risk it for anything.

Jane pulled up in front of Maura's house and made no mention of the swanky neighborhood or the structure's palatial elegance. Her concentration was fully on Maura. She helped the doctor to her feet before locking the car and handing over the keys.

"Are you going to be ok?" Jane asked, dipping her head ever so slightly to catch the other woman's eyes.

"I will be, thank you." Jane walked Maura to her door. "I know you must think I am ridiculous, behaving in such a manner; it's just that I have had very few close friends. if I had an abundance, then perhaps it would not hurt so much."

"Na, it would hurt just as much. Its not the number of friends you have, it is how close you are to them. If Kitty was your, um...best friend..."

"But she's not, Jane, you are." Maura unlocked her front door and turned to face the detective.

Jane stood on the threshold. She felt the warmth of Maura's hand on her forearm and the draw of her hypnotic eyes. Jane wanted nothing more than to kiss the doctor, but knew that this was not the time to be changing the parameters of their relationship. Her heart beat faster as she sensed Maura move closer and catch the fabric of Jane's sleeve in her fist. Her resolve was weakening by the second and there was a serious risk that she would abandon her rules altogether if something didn't stop her.

Maura saw the hunger in Jane's eyes as they stood just outside her house. She also saw that there were no barriers between Jane and her feelings anymore. Raw desire drew Maura in, but her analytical mind kept her from committing to any action beyond indulging in their closeness. She couldn't risk losing Jane.

"You are my very best friend, Jane. If there is one thing I have learned tonight, it is that somethings you have no control over, so you must take extra care with what you can control. Somethings are too precious to risk losing." Maura reached up and pressed a lingering kiss upon the detectives cheek. "Goodnight Jane."

"Goodnight Maura, call me if you need anything." Jane turned and walked toward the street where she expected Frankie would be along any minute to pic her up and drive her back to her own vehicle.

She felt dizzy and disoriented from her moment with Maura, but ironically, not in a bad way. Her physical attraction for the doctor aside, Maura had reaffirmed Jane's place in her life, and Jane could not help but feel happy about it. Maura had stated unequivocally, that Jane was her very best friend. If that was all it was going to be, it was good enough for Jane.

Frankie whooped the siren of his patrol car and Jane jogged down to meet her ride.

"I heard someone leaked details to the press about your case." Frankie said as Jane maneuvered her lanky form in the the back of the cage car.

"You, and everyone else in Boston." Jane retorted.

"So you know who leaked it?"

"It's been taken care of. Just get me back to the station, I have to get my car."

* * *

><p>Kitty sat in the darkened interior of her Volvo XC90 watching Maura's driveway. She was quite proud of how well she had handled the investigation, and that it had secured her a weekend anchor gig ahead of schedule. The reporter had done her research, and made sure that all the legwork was in place to cover any connection to Maura. Maura might have a suspicion, but Kitty was ready with a perfectly plausible explanation of how she had uncovered her information. The only outstanding fact that she failed to independently corroborate was the use of the stun gun, but she felt she had enough evidence of a correlation to run the story anyway.<p>

Her boss had been ecstatic by the report and had put her in the Saturday night spot permanently**.** Kitty wanted to share her triumph with Maura. She watched Maura's Mercedes pull up and was about to get out of her own car when she saw the image of the tall Italian detective emerge from the driver's seat. Kitty's breath caught in her chest. Maura never let anyone drive her car, and in front of her eyes, she witnessed Jane Rizzoli having done just that.

Kitty remained still inside her vehicle and watched the scene play out before her. Seeing the looks that passed between the two women was almost to much for her to bear. Jane was encroaching on Kitty's territory, and Kitty was not happy at all. When the two parted ways on the doorstep, Kitty choked back a sardonic laugh, as she imagined Jane was playing the chivalry bit up in a fashion Maura could not resist.

Kitty watched Jane disappear into the back of a BPD squad car and she reached for her phone. Maura would have to wait until later, Kitty had a newly crafted plan for her evening. She punched in the number for her most reliable camera man and slipped into traffic behind the squad car. If Jane was going to mess around on Kitty's turf, then Kitty would return the favor.


	18. 18 Damn Kitty

As the streets of Boston streamed past, Kitty's mind was focused on one thing, payback. The cocky italian detective may have made inroads on the object of Kitty's desire, but professionally Kitty still had the upper hand.

Kitty knew how to ruin a person, and how to do it under the protections of the First Amendment, the trouble here was to not alienate Maura in the process. She had scuttled a few municipal election campaigns and encouraged a resignation or two, but this time she had to avoid even the appearance of impropriety.

Kitty laughed as the thought crossed her mind. The irony of the sentiment was not lost on her and its resonance seemed to make her chosen path seem that much righter. The trick would be to get it done fast, so Kitty had to put her whole mind into this.

She had already decided on an ambush interview. Lucky for her she had not wasted her time snooping through Maura's phone and had thus picked up a good deal of information on her target, her home address for example.

As she passed the BPD squad car slowing to turn into the station, Kitty was already framing her attack. The question was how to show Jane in a negative light. The best way was not to impugn her morals, or challenge her detective skills, it was to cast her weakness in bold relief and let the rest take its corse. Kitty knew the kind of woman Jane Rizzoli was, and weakness was her weakness.

Jane had been one of Hoyt's victims, and if Kitty had to make a wager, she would put money on Jane not being able to make peace with that. Now Kitty just had to needle Jane's pride and see where it led.

Kitty pulled her car in front of Jane's apartment building and started jotting down questions in her notebook, as well as contingency questions based on Jane's probable responses. She was going to be prepared and make this look good. Ten minutes latter, Larry Abernathy pulled up next to her. He was not the best camera man she had worked with but he was certainly the most ruthless. He had no compunction about doing whatever it took to get the shot, and for this reason, Kitty made sure if she had an important segment to shoot, Larry was the guy on the other side of the camera.

Kitty gave him the version of the truth that she felt would elicit the best response from Larry, and then reviewed the interview in her head until she spotted Jane's car approaching.

Kitty watched Jane get out of her car and walk towards the front door of the apartment building. Jane looked exhausted but calm, and Kitty wondered if she was going to be able to rile the detective up enough for some good footage, but it was all or nothing now. Kitty waited for the right moment then stepped out and began questioning Jane.

"Detective Rizzoli, what is the connection between Charles Hoyt and the West Roxbury murders?"

Jane was taken aback by the reporter's sudden appearance. It was only in recent months that she wasn't on edge all the time. She had Maura to thank for that, but it was at times like these when she felt any gains she had made at returning to a sense of normalcy, slip away.

"If you've got questions," Jane barked, "You know where and _when_ to ask them."

"What are you hiding Detective?" Kitty wanted to float the thought of deception early enough in the encounter to appropriately taint the interview in her favor.

"Not a whole lot apparently, because I've been off duty for two hours and yet here _you_ are. What did you think, you wouldn't make it with the big boys at the press conference down at headquarters so you would go all rouge and ambush me at my home, Really Kitty?" The detective narrowed her eyes. Jane knew that this may be about Kitty's career but it was not about the case. It was personal, and Jane had to tread lightly. The corners of panic were already pricking at her airways thanks the reporter's sudden appearance and if Jane was not careful, her default response to panic attacks, brute anger, was libel to take effect and create a whole other set of problems for her.

"You are the lead detective on the case, are you not?" Kitty ignored Jane's outburst. The words would never make it past the editing process, but the look on her face was priceless. Kitty was pleased by how easy Jane was making this. All she needed was a minute of good footage.

"And?" Jane concentrated on keeping her answers as simple as possible.

"Is it wise considering the nature of your...relationship with Hoyt?"

"Relationship?" Jane felt the rage rise and had to use all her will not to lash out. She knew why Kitty was doing this and had to keep perspective. "Do you mean investigator to psychopath or arresting officer to convicted perp?"

"But it was Detective Korsack, and not you personally who arrested Hoyt. You were...um...overpowered by Hoyt, were you not?" Kitty made a point to look down at her notes as if she was confused or not understanding something.

Jane saw where Kitty was headed and for a moment felt powerless to change it. Her palms itched and the acrid mix of panic and fury made the bile rise in the throat.

Kitty saw the stunned look on Detective Rizzoli's face and knew she had won this battle. Larry zoomed in for the close-up and felt the glee that came when one witnessed this kind of victory.

Jane tensed for a fight. The urge to lay Kitty out, consequences be damned, was overwhelming. But then Maura's words from earlier in the evening came back. "_...somethings you have no control over, so you must take extra care with what you can control. Somethings are too precious to risk losing" _Jane had been turning their meaning over in her head for the last hour, and applied in this particular situation, Jane knew that Maura was too precious to risk loosing by loosing control. Jane changed her tac.

"Are you here about the Hoyt case? If so, I think you are a bit late, they convicted him last year." Jane took out her keys and turned toward the door.

"No, I am here because an apprentice of Hoyt's is responsible for the Yeager murders and I'm investigating the conflict of interest in the choice of lead detective."

Jane wanted to point out that Kitty had no proof that the two cases were connected, and that there was certainly no conflict of interest, but instead she bit back her response and unlocked the front door. A few more steps and she would be home free. She let the door ease closed behind her to avoid looking guilty by slamming it. Kitty held the door open and threw out one last question.

"Considering the connection between the two cases, are you really the best Detective to investigate. Are you really up to the job after having been...um...assaulted by Hoyt."

Kitty saw the anger in the Detective's eyes and was ecstatic. The implication of the question was that there had been a sexual component to Hoyt's crime against her, but the beauty of the English language was its ambiguity, implication was not accusation, though it might as well be.

Jane heard all of what Kitty had said, and was not in the position to correct her, not that it would make a difference anyway.

"I'm more than qualified. I'm the only on to survive an attack by Hoyt. And trust me, **_that_** bothers him more than it bothers me." Jane turned slowly and quelled the urge to run up the stairs. _Damn Kitty, damn her to hell._


	19. He's back

Jane stormed into her apartment and began throwing random objects against the wall. There was a firestorm of emotions raging in her heart and mind. She didn't know which pissed her off more: That Kitty had surprised her with the interview, that she had been so effective at making Jane look like an idiot, or that she had done these things on Jane's doorstep. Like most cops, Jane had been very careful to keep her personal information private. She had an unlisted number, used her initials, J.C., in place of her first name on identifying documents, and tightly controlled her internet footprint. The purpose of all this was so that she could feel some semblance of safety in her own home, which now anyone watching this broadcast news report would know the location of.

When she had sufficiently wrecked her living room, Jane called Schroeder Plaza to report the encounter and give the brass the heads up. She knew it would only be a matter of time before the footage was aired and judging from the reaction to Kitty's last on air revelations, Jane wanted to get as much ahead of this thing as possible. She couldn't do a lot, but she had to do something.

As anticipated, the Office of Media Relations was none to pleased about the chain of events, but given the circumstances Jane was allowed to continue on the case. It didn't hurt that the Lieutenant that fielded the call had scored his detail thanks in large part to Jane's previous encounter with Hoyt.

Sleep did not come easy that night. Jane chased her thoughts until well into the wee hours, and woke the following morning uncomfortable and out of sorts. Hoyt seemed to have the upper hand again, and even though she had seen him with her own eyes in lock down, she couldn't help but feel vulnerable.

As Jane ranged around her kitchen trying to decide what to eat with her coffee, her cellphone buzzed, it was Maura. A moment later her home phone rang and the apprehension that had been following her all night, swelled to a suffocating tightness in her chest.

"RIzzoli." She opted to take Maura's call.

"Jane!" Maura exclaimed. "Why didn't you call me?"

"Geeze, its only been eight hours since I dropped you off." Jane deflected. "I didn't realize there was such a strict protocol I should follow after driving a girl home." Jane heard the words as she was saying them, and knew that she probably shouldn't, but so many of her defenses had been penetrated or circumvented that it almost didn't matter anymore.

"Jane!" Maura scolded, "This is no time to be cavalier. I was referring to Kitty's interview. Why didn't you call me last night?"

"I guess she got it in in time for the morning news huh? Figures as much. Well it was late and I didn't want to wake you." Jane replied, thinking about how many times she had picked up the phone to call, only to put the receiver back down, not wanting to seem needy, or weak, or too forward. "Besides, I knew how upset you were already. You didn't need my shit on top of everything else."

"That is just ridiculous Jane." Maura could not help but feel responsible for every ounce of what was happening. She could see it now, as clear as day. Last night she had felt betrayed by a friend, this morning she just felt like a fool. Maura had no doubt Kitty had had feelings for her, but they only ran as deep as being the object of desire of a narcissist. "You should have called. My god you must have been up half the night."

"No worse then most nights really." Jane's humor was returning thanks to the empathetic tones of the Doctor. The one good thing that had come out of last night's debacle, was the fact that Kitty had lost Maura's friendship, and more importantly her respect. Not that Jane had any intention of converting her advantage into a reality, but the fact that Kitty was history, meant Jane would have her best friend, all to herself. Jane tried to change the subject. "Besides, being attacked by the media isn't so bad, it's that she did it in front of my house that gets me. I try so hard to keep my residence private, I only just told Tommy my address."

Maura thought back to when she and Jane had exchanged information. Jane had not betrayed a trace of this vigilance when she had readily provided Maura the complete rundown of her personal information. Instantly Maura's mind snapped back to the cell phone _glitch_ and she felt even more vacuous then before. It became obvious to her what had happened, and apparent as well that Jane had known the full span of the deception.

"I'm sorry for that Jane. She must have gotten your info from my phone." Maura wanted to ask why Jane hadn't told her that night, but she suspected she knew the answer already. Jane had been very clear about her preference for men and was probably not interested in discussing Kitty's subterfuge for fear of where it would lead the conversation. "It seems I am just a leaky sieve of confidential information. I don't know what to say."

Maura's tone was so self-deprecating it made Jane's heart ache. "Maura, now you listen to me. Your loyalty is one of the things I love most about you, and don't you go beating yourself up because one of your old college chums turns out to be a dirt bag. I dated enough of them to know that it can happen to anyone."

"Thank you Jane." Maura said softly. "I hope to earn the trust you have so readily given me."

Jane wanted to contradict Maura and tell her how completely she had and had earned her trust, but checked the compulsion. She had already said too much.

The two women exchanged good-byes and made plans to meet in the Morgue for lunch. When Jane hung up her mood was greatly improved and even Kitty's invasion of her privacy couldn't depress the lightness in her step. Maybe, she was just overreacting.

Later on that day Jane made her way down to the lab. She had been grilled by the Commander and by the media guys, but after all was said and done the incident was closed. It had taken longer then she had thought so Jane stopped by the vending machines and bought two tuna salad lunches. She had promised Maura lunch and didn't want to show up empty handed.

"So whatcha got Doc? Anything good?" Jane asked as she sauntered in. Maura wanted to ask about the inquiry but could tell from Jane's disposition, that it must have worked out ok.

"I found carpet fibers on Gale Yeager's body, the lab is processing it. Thanks." Maura accepted the proffered meal and smiled at how Jane didn't miss a trick.

"Hoyt didn't meet his apprentice in prison, or in medical school. All 80 classmates are clean." Jane stared at the computer screen, willing her mind to focus on the work at hand. And then, as if the universe were conspiring against her, Agent Dean walked in.

"You guys eating cat food?" Dean scoffed. Jane wanted the mash her palm in his face, but supposed that would be too unprofessional, so she settled for textbook RIzzoli sarcasm.

"Here you want some?" Jane held the can up under his nose, eliciting the response she had hoped, as he pulled away.

"No?" Agent Dean said, puzzling at the Detectives obvious dislike for him. He knew that local Departments resented the feds, and that in this case, She had more reason then one to be irritable, but Dean couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to the antics. Unfortunately he had some bad news to pass along, and couldn't scuttle away as he would have liked.

"Guess it is a chick thing." Jane's retort elicited a smile from Maura that was half amused and half incredulous.

"What's up?" Jane could have cared less, but figured the quicker Dean spilled his story, the sooner he would be on his way out, and Jane could have Maura all too herself again.

"You may want to sit down." Agent Dean felt a little squeamish about having to proffer this forthcoming information, but knew it had to be done.

"No tell me." Jane was still not paying the Agent any mind.

A few hours ago charles Hoyt escaped custody." He blurted out.

Jane heard the words, but it took a moment to register. "Oh my god..."

Jane looked at Maura, wondering if she could see how completely Jane's life had been turned up side down.


	20. Jane's Addiction

Maura saw Jane's face blanch and could only imagine the turmoil that Agent Dean's news had unleashed in the detective's psyche. She summarily dismissed Dean from her office and guided Jane into a chair. Jane was having a reckoning of sorts, with her old daemons and the possibility of new ones freshly loosed on the world, and Maura was not going to let Jane founder.

Maura took Jane's hands in hers. "Jane?" She spoke softly. "Jane, look at me."

Jane's eyes slowly focussed as she pulled her mind from its perdition and locked in on Maura's gaze.

"You can't let this get you. You are stronger then Hoyt. You got him the first time and you will get him again." Maura stared directly into Jane's eyes and spoke with and intensity that made Jane believe.

"But Maura, now he knows where I live," Jane insisted. The fact had not been lost on Maura.

"But not where I do. Why don't you come and stay with me until this is over." Maura's eyes pleaded with Jane to accept her offer and she leaned closer to emphasize her point. It was her fault that Jane was in such peril, and she had to help make it right.

Jane felt Maura's breath on her face and the trace scents of her soap and perfume swept over Jane's senses. Maura's presence was like an opiate; Jane was intoxicated and felt both alive and oddly dulled. The edges of fear and panic had retreated, overwhelmed by a crackling somatic tension. Like Odysseus tied to the mast, Jane was happy to be tempted by the siren's song. She was on the verge of accepting the doctor's offer but stopped just short of doing so. The thought of icy darts of cold water from her shower head prickling her skin prevented her.

"I'll be ok, I'm not going to let Hoyt control me like that." Jane abruptly stood and crossed to the door. Maura felt the void of Jane's presence like the rush of air into a vacuum.

"I'm going to the prison to get some answers. Do you want to come?" Jane tuned in the doorway, and didn't know if she was more fearful that Maura would accept her offer or decline it.

"I have work here to finish up. You go and let me know what you find." Maura focused her mind on the work, and this way did not have to confuse herself with the nuanced complications of emotion.

That night at her apartment, Jane was caught between a feeling of helplessness and resentment. And if she was being honest with herself, the whole Maura thing wasn't helping her mental health much either. She wanted nothing more than to curl up and cease to exist for a few weeks, emerging from hibernation when this whole ordeal was over, but knew that there was no reality in which that was a possibility. Instead, she argumentatively resisted anyone's offer to help.

She brushed off Korsak's invitation to bunk with him, dismissed the job's offer to take leave, and shoved her brother and Frost out her front door when they showed up insistent on watching out for her. And so it was that she was abusively subjecting her carpet to the vacuum when her neighbor looked in on her.

Marisa had spent a lot of time "looking in" on Jane after the Hoyt ordeal. She had been at home a lot, studying for the LSATs at the time, and her presence was about the only thing Jane could tolerate back then. She had never pitied Jane or fawned over her, or even really acknowledged that anything had happened. She simply stopped by with pizza, or to see if Jane needed anything from the market, and never ask anything in return. Jane had reluctantly come to appreciate Marisa's company and then even to look forward to it. She had been the closest Jane had had to a girl friend since junior college and if Jane was being honest with herself, there was probably something more. But Jane's mom had begun to meddle, then Law School had started, and that had been that.

When Jane saw Marisa's smile through the peep hole, with relief she opened the door to let the younger woman in. She was the last person Jane expected to see, but it was reassuring, even if a bit awkward.

"Come in, come in, come in." Jane beckoned, setting her sidearm down on the bookshelf. "How is law school?"

"Awful, remind me again why I thought I wanted to be a lawyer?" Marisa ignored Jane's tense reaction and the not so inconspicuous use of her gun when answering the door. She remained at the door, not wanting to encroach on Jane's space. For such an incredibly strong person, Jane could be so fragile. Marisa had seen it before and didn't want to assume her way into Jane's apartment.

"I know, right...where the hell was I on career day?" Jane crossed to the vacuum to put it away. Maybe this night wouldn't be a total loss after all.

"Just making sure you're ok." Marisa smiled again. Even now, Jane refused to allow herself to be the vulnerable one.

"Yeah," Jane turned, puzzled. "Why would you ask?"

"You always vacuum when you have a really tough case." Marisa tried not to sound too concerned.

"Huh?" Jane realized the truth of the younger woman's words, and in pondering them, she also considered the direction this new turn of events might take her. She was about to extend an invitation to join her for a beer when another knock sounded at the door.

The much less welcome visage of Jane's mother made Jane wince. She debated just ignoring the knock, but knew it was no use. She gave Marisa her best pathetically apologetic look before opening the door to admit her mother.

Angela Rizzoli stood in the doorway, irritated at having had to wait so long to be let in, and somewhat surprised that Jane's neighbor was there. Not wanting to point out the obvious problems that would stem from her daughter's involvement with the girl, Angela breezed past with barley an acknowledgment.

"That lipstick doesn't flatter you at all. It's too pink, babe." And with that, Marisa beat a hasty retreat, leaving Jane that much more irritated.

It did not take long for Jane to reach her limit. Her relationship with her mother was chaffing at best, and now that Angela had shown up and chased away the only hope of distraction, Jane's irritation had reached critical mass. Before she even knew that she had decided to, jane collected her gun, shield and keys, and was out the door. She had to see Maura, she needed to be in her presence and hear her voice. The ME was like a drug, and Jane was addicted.


	21. Clarity can Wait

_**Ok, so thank you to all who have stuck with me. ****suffice it to say, this past year has been trying at best. Hurricane Sandy got the best of me (and my house) but I am back and ready to finish up. Also shout out to Goldflecks, whose return has served as half inspiration, half instigation to get back to this story. Only a few more chapters to go.**_

* * *

><p>By the time she pulled up to the curb in front of 1123, an odd calm had descended over Jane's psyche. She knew that what she was doing qualified for a gross violation of Rule #1, but the more Jane thought about it, the more she realized she was not much of a rules kind of person anyway. Hoyt was out and Jane needed to pull her act together to be able to face him when he showed himself, and he would show himself. The problem was that Jane only felt to in the right frame of mind when she was with Maura, so her she was.<p>

She strolled across the drive, willing her breath to come evenly, even though her heart was beating the Tarantella in her chest. As she rang the bell it dawned on her that she had not really given this outing much thought. She had not brought an overnight bag, or a tooth brush, or anything really, she had not even called.

When Maura swung open the door, the breeze pushed her hair from around her face. Jane was powerless to suppress her smile. Maura was possessed of such grace it took Jane's breath away. There were so many competing ideas in her head; so many different things that she wanted to say, Jane chose randomly from the multitude.

"Why do you always look like you are about to do a photo shoot?"

Maura smiled as she looked across her threshold at her friend. She had been expecting Agent Dean and was briefly struck dumb by the sight of the Detective at her door. Jane wore an oddly peaceful smile that changed the entire look of her face. She was stronger some how, and calmer than she had been all day. Maura's eyes trailed over Jane's features, her form, her lips, her neck...and came to rest on her eyes. Last night Maura had kept her desire in check for the fear of loosing the Detective's friendship; tonight her body couldn't bear the thought of forgoing any proffered attention.

As Jane watched Maura, she wondered if she had just seen what she thought she had seen. Had the Doctor actually sized her up like that? Had this moment been in a movie she had been watching, Jane was pretty sure she would have been yelling at the movie screen right about now..."_She likes you! Kiss her already_!" Could it be that the dizzying crush that had been wreaking havoc on her senses all these weeks was far from a one-sided affair?

They stood for a long moment without words, without movement, just looking at each other. The magnetism level had shot up between them, and Maura no longer resisted. She moved slightly closer to Jane, dropping her eyes from the Detectives gaze to her soft blushed lips.

Jane smiled at the Doctor. If there had been any doubts in her mind, Maura's look expunged them. Jane inhaled unsteadily and closed the distance between them. If the crush had been unsettling, it was nothing compared to the feelings now cascading through her body. The world seemed to be spinning wildly and all Jane could think about was how soft the Doctor's lips would be, and what they would taste like.

Jane stepped up into the doorway and steadied herself by taking the ME by at waist. Maura held her ground and was rewarded by the feel of the Detective's warm and lithe body press firmly against her own. Maybe it was that this moment had seemed so long in coming, or that the intensity of what the two had been going through had too quickly minimized the self-imposed barriers between them, but on the precipice of actualizing the raw emotion, they paused.

They seemed to have had the same thought at exactly the same instant, because without awkwardness, or perhaps to overcome it, they parted. Maura backed away to let Jane pass and Jane stepped over the threshold into the Doctors beautifully appointed home.

"I'm glad you came Jane." Maura said as she lead her into the Kitchen. "I am so worried for you and I can't help but feel responsible."

"Nonsense!" Jane guffawed cavalierly, trying to brush off what had just transpired and acclimate to this newly wrought dynamic.

"No Jane, I have to say this." Maura stopped and pivoted around so suddenly that Jane, who had been taking in the beautifully appointed decor so as to not what the Doctor lead the way in her form fitting pants and heels, ran right into her. "There are a lot of things that I have to say to you." Maura met Jane's eyes, trying to lay the groundwork for the conversation that was to come. Maura couldn't continue on as if there was not this invisable force drawing her toward Jane; if they were not going to address it physically she had to say something.

Jane saw the desperately earnest look in Maura's eyes and wondered where the Doctor was going with this. Was she going to maintain that she was not ready for a new relationship, or that intimacy between co-workers was inadvisable, or maybe she was going to explain that she was accustomed to intimate pairings with persons of her own social strata.

"Well since you put it that way," Jane retorted, a bit more insolently then she had wanted. "At least let me have a drink."

Maura turned to fetch a glass of wine, not altogether sure this was going to go well at all.

Maura wordlessly poured Jane a large glass of Sauvignon Blanc, and handed it to her before crossing to put away her work for the night.

"GOD! What is that?" Jane barked upon spying a large tortoise in the middle of the kitchen.

"Shhh, you'll scare him." Maura scolded.

"He's alive?" Jane questioned, latching on to this topic changer for dear life.

"His name is Bass." Maura responded. "_Geochelone sulcata. _African Spurred Tortoise. I've had him since he was like this big." Maura indicated a size comparable to a kumquat. She knew that Jane was changing the subject, and let the matter drop.

The two chatted for a bit about the strange pet that Maura kept and Jane recounted the various pets she had had over the corse of her life. They finished the bottle if wine and Maura saw that Jane was tired and needed sleep, but was not going to be the first to bring the topic up.

"How about I show you to the guest room?"

"Yeah, sure, groovy." Jane was exhausted.

"Follow me." Maura beckoned and Jane complied.

Maura showed Jane in to the guest room and they continued their conversation. Jane watched as Maura prepped the bed, and prattled on about peer review, and all Jane could think about was pushing the good doctor down into the plush comforter. Jane had been second guessing herself all night. From the moment in the doorway on, Jane was wondering if she had imagined it all, or if she had in fact, blown the best opportunity she wold ever be presented with.

It a little libation, and sleep deprivation and Jane was closing in on the prospect of having that talk that Maura had mentioned. But the door bell rang. The two looked at each other, and Maura wore a suspiciously guilty look.

"Someone is just dropping something off." She stated. Remembering that she had told Agent Dean he could being by more files on the past cases. Maura knew that JAne would want to know why Dean had stopped by, and could not bear the though of having to lie to her about a case she was so intimately involved with.

Maura hurried to the door and pulled it closed behind her, leaving Jane wondering what was going on.

Jane was incredulous, she looked at her watch wondering who would drop by at this hour. She listened at the door and then peaked her head around the frame to get a better look. Agent Deans face came into focus and it hit Jane like a blow to the gut. Maura had probable started to see him, and even if there had been the beginnings of anything between her and Jane, Dean took priority now. It explained the misfire at the door tonight, and Maura's wanting to have a talk. Jane felt like a fool and retreated to the bed, not wanting to have to confront anything else tonight.

Shortly after, Maura knocked.

"Go away, I'm asleep." Jane snarked. Maura entered anyway. She settled down on the bed, closer to Jane than necessary. "Are we having a sleep over,or is this your way of telling me you are attracted in me?" Jane tried for irritated, but her tone softened as she heard the warm chuckle bubble from the beautiful doctor's mouth.

"So it was Dean you were expecting?" Jane asked, wanting to clear the air once and for all.

Maura started and stopped several times before stating, "He wanted my opinion on another case."

"What case?" Jane asked with hope.

"I can't say." Maura knew how it sounded, but had no choice other than the truth.

"Fine! Go sleep in your own room." Jane's mood had soured again. If Maura couldn't say, it was probably because the "case" was a rouse to see each other. Jane just wanted Maura to leave so that she could let her emotions free and maybe, just maybe, get some semblance of clarity on the whole matter.

"Jane." Maura chided. but said nothing further, and declined to move from the bed.

Their arms touched and Jane alternately wanted to push Maura away, and push in closer to her. The contradiction was wearing. Her thoughts raced to a million places in a few short moments, and all of a sudden, the rules were back in play. Jane resigned herself to this. What was #3, "Date more guys?" Well what about Dean? If Jane could not have Maura, and she had to date guys, so what if she tried to interfere? It was childish, Jane knew, but so what.

"Ever like the same guy as your best friend?" She asked, as a way of forewarning Maura of the battle to come.

a simple no was all that Maura offered in return, and it struck Jane as odd.

"Did you ever have a best friend?" Jane asked, in follow up.

again a simple no, but this time it moved Jane.

"You would tell me if you were a cyborg, right?"

"No I don't believe I would." They laughed, and Maura realized that there would be no conversation about what had happened earlier, tonight. The two women laid next to each other but stared up at the ceiling. It all felt so terribly high school, so adolescent. But Maura was too nervous and scared, and could not bear to look at Jane, least she see confirmation of something other than a reciprocated attraction.

"I'm not seeing him." Maura offered weakly.

"Yet" Jane illuminated.

"Somebody should, don't you think?" Maura did not know why she said it, and it pained her.

"Yup." Jane stated, _Suzy Chang from downstairs, or maybe the weird Goth chick from the Crime Scene Unit, but please, please, not you and definitely not me_.

"Shall we draw straws?" Maura asked, getting a clearer vision of this new dynamic, but still reveling in their closeness.

"Couldn't we just show him our tits and let him decide?" Jane did not know what lead her to be so crass, but it seemed as good a thing to say as any. It made Maura giggle in genuine amusement, which again tugged at Jane's carefully constructed walls. _Damn this woman._

The was a loud sound and Jane stared up off the bed. Maura's concern flashed and she reached out for Jane's arm. She did not want her friend to be frightened, and she really did not want this moment to end.

"It's ok, it's just Bass, really its okay." Maura desperately coaxed Jane to lie back down, which she did.

"I've never been so scared in all my life." Jane admitted. half about Hoyt and half about what was going on between the two of them.

Maura turned and looked at her friend. She knew exactly what Jane was talking about. She knew that if this thing was to have any chance of working its self out and not turning disastrous, that it would have to be on Jane's terms, and Jane's terms only. Maura smiled and nestled close to her friend. clarity could wait for another day.


	22. And Wait

Maura waited until she heard Jane's breathing slow, and slid to the edge of the bed. She wanted to stay and fall asleep against the Detective's body, but thought better of the idea. If the friendship was to endure, Maura would have to make choices with her head and her head alone.

As she levered her body weight off the mattress, Jane stirred.

"No, don't go." Jane said, barely above a whisper. She reached out and closed her fingers over Maura's hand. "Please stay with me."

Jane's eyes were closed and Maura could not tell if the Detectives reaction was a conscious one or not.

"Than get under the covers Jane, it is a chilly night." It was a feint. Maura had no intention of following that line, only to divert the conversation and hope that Jane would fall off to sleep before too long.

Jane obliged, rousing to a half-sleep as she did. Jane felt the cool crisp Egyptian cotton slide over her body as she found her way back to the warm place under the covers, directly below where she had drifted off to sleep. She nestled down, feeling oddly safe. But something was just not quite right. Her discomfort brushed away the webs of an inchoate dream and pulled her back towards the conscious realm. As the fog ebbed around Jane's mind she realized what it was that she was missing, why in her deep state of calm she was disturbed, why in the midst of feeling safe, she felt vulnerable. Jane opened her eyes and searched for the one thing she was missing.

Maura sat on the edge of the bed, arms drawn across her chest, physically trying to hold together that which her mind could not. She wanted to protect Jane, shield her from Hoyt, and Kitty, and even Dean, and what ever the world threw at her, but there was so much more to it than that. The harder she tried for simplicity, the more complex things became. How was it that just being near someone could make her feel so happy and yet hurt so much?

Jane saw the emotion in Maura's body. She didn't have to see her friend's face to feel the palpable sadness. Jane remembered the first night she and the Doctor had gone out, to the Parkies bar with Barry and Vince. Jane had seen a look in Maura that betrayed this same sadness. Jane sat up and reached out for her friend.

Maura felt Jane's hands on her shoulders, pulling her back into a gentle embrace.

"Why are you so sad Dr. Isles?" Jane whispered into Maura's ear. Maura leaned back against the Detective's arms not knowing what to say, not knowing how to get around this thing between them.

"Jane, we can't ignore this forever." Maura spoke softly as she turned and slipped her arms around Jane's waist. "I can't pretend like this anymore."

Jane looked down at Maura and for the first time didn't think about what she should do. She just pressed her lips softly against the Doctor's forehead. "I know, Maur, I know."

"I…you…" Maura started and stopped. "It is so…I feel…" Maura couldn't find the words to express her emotions, and with each moment she grew more apprehensive that she never would be.

Jane heard each sentence as a complete thought. She knew what the Doctor was trying to say. I need you, you make me feel whole, It is so hard to try to be just your friend when I have fallen in love with you. I feel complete around you and am afraid of loosing you…

"I know Maur, I know." Jane repeated, and punctuated her words with a soft kiss on Maura's nose and then on her lips.

Jane could not ever have calculated the intensity of the response in her own body that could be elicited from just one kiss. She felt the Doctor open up under the weight of the kiss and fell into Maura's reaction.

Tears pricked at the corners of Maura's eyes as she pulled impossibly closer to the Detective. The tension and fear of the last months burst forth created a void for Jane to fill completely.

The two held each other for a long time and slipped off to sleep still wrapped in the other's arms. There was so much that needed to be reasoned and discussed, but for now this was enough. For now truth was enough, clarity could wait.


End file.
